Chapter 362: Seriously Bullshitting
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稻草也疯狂 update:2022-07-15 14:20
Xiao Luo did not have an issue with Su Li’s request. Besides, he had nothing to do for the day and was planning to make good his promise to Su Xiaobei that he would take her to the theme park. It was the perfect day to do it—given the beautiful weather. As for why Su Li wanted her brother to tag along, he couldn’t figure it out.
Su Li did seem like she wanted him to get acquainted with his brother-in-law, Su Canye. But, was that even possible?
It was already decided, and he didn’t bother to overthink it. Besides, he didn’t find Su Canye that repulsive, but on the contrary, he was quite an interesting character.
“You can’t be serious. Get out of here…… why are you so pathetic, driving such a low-end car that is not even worth 200 thousand dollars? How can I pick up girls with this? This won’t cut it. I need to ask for the keys to my sister’s Ferrari.”
One look at Xiao Luo’s car in the parking lot, a Trumpchi, and Su Canye immediately turned around and headed back to the apartment. The only reason he was attending Kendo classes was that a girl he fancied was also training there. Previously when he still had his Bentley, he would drive over every day, just to show off. And now, having to arrive in a low-priced domestic car, he suddenly couldn’t find the courage to show up at the Kendo Gym.
But, he stopped only after a few steps and walked back to the car. He suddenly had flashes of Su Li waving her index finger in his face and giving him an earful. Having just lost his Bentley, if he were to ask for the keys to her Ferrari, he would undoubtedly be dragged over a bed of burning coal.
“Forget it, the Trumpchi will have to do. Ice Face, I must say, your outlook in the family is exceedingly low, and it almost feels like my sister had just adopted a gigolo. You need to work harder, mate. You have to rise up one day and earn your dignity as a man. But, I have high hopes for you.” He patted Xiao Luo’s back earnestly. “Ice Face” was the nickname he gave Xiao Luo.
“I’ll try my best.”
Xiao Luo smiled and rolled his eyes.
Su Xiaobei didn’t understand a word her uncle was saying, and here head kept switching between Xiao Luo and Su Canye. In the end, she simply rubbed her cheeks with a puzzled expression.
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“Ice Face, let’s go the Kendo Gym first, then we can take the little princess to the theme park in the afternoon,” after getting in the car, Su Canye explained his plan for today.
“You may go ahead and do your stuff. I can keep Xiaobei company myself,” said Xiao Luo.
Su Canye immediately objected, “No. A real man never goes back on his words. I’ve already promised my sister, and besides, although Lil’ princess calls you daddy, you’re still an outsider at the end of the day. You’re not bonded to her by blood, and Lil’ princess is so cute, what would I do if you decided to sell her away?”
Xiao Luo was speechless.
“You only talk nonsense, uncle. My daddy will never sell Beibei away!” Su Xiaobei protested.
“Silly girl, you’re still a kid, and you still don’t understand society’s dangers yet. Do you remember how you almost got kidnapped by the bad guys in Jiangcheng City?”
Su Xiaobei didn’t know how to respond to that, and all she could do was to stare at Su Canye blankly and pout her lips.
“Listen to uncle, I’m always right. This is also the reason your mummy asked me to tag along. She is afraid of you getting abducted again. If that happens, then the earth will go ‘kaboom,’ you get me?” Su Canye patted Su Xiaobei’s head as he looked into her eyes and spoke solemnly.
The little girl was utterly confused and shook her head. “No.”
“Okay, Uncle, will explain to you then. If you were abducted, your mummy would have to search all around the world to find you, right?”
“Yes,” Su Xiaobei replied, nodding her head.
“So, if your mum goes looking for you, that would mean that she will not have time to star in movies, record albums, shoot commercials, or even post her status on Weibo. Do you know that your mummy has more than 70 million followers? If your mummy’s fans don’t get to see any of her new projects and receive any updates for a long time, what do you think will happen? Yes, they’ll go crazy—and once that happens, they will lose heart to work, go on strikes, take to the streets in thousands and cause social disorder, you get me?” Su Canye spoke with absolute conviction, and Su Xiaobei was swayed, keeping her eyes on him and listening to every word he uttered. He carried on explaining, “And, once our society is in unrest, the country will be in turmoil, and then our enemies will seize the opportunity to launch attacks on us. Once two countries get into a war, their allies will join in, then they’ll be fighting all over the world, and finally, this will bring on the third world war. And, when some countries become desperate, they will be forced to use their nuclear weapons. If every country uses its nuclear weapons, Mother Earth will ultimately be destroyed, becoming a dust particle. As you can see, it’s terrifying! So, for the sake of earth’s safety, please do not get yourself abducted.”
Su Canye was spewing pure drivel—he was seriously bullshitting! But Su Xiaobei was soaking it all in, nodding her head solemnly and actually listening to every word.
As he drove and listened in, Xiao Luo thoroughly was amused. Su Canye’s skills at churning out gibberish could match Zhang Dashan’ s—the only difference was that with Zhang Dashan, it would come across as banter, while in Su Canye’s case, he delivered his bullshit a lot more seriously.
“Ice Face, since you are already married to my sister, you should arrange a grand wedding reception. My sister may be a celebrity who has everything she wants, but she is also human. You can’t be sloppy in matters as important as a marriage,” Su Canye said, suddenly switching the topic to Xiao Luo.
Xiao Luo only smiled and remained silent. This was one topic that he would not be expressing any opinion on. His marriage with Su Li wasn’t mutually consensual, and not only did they not have an engagement, but even their marriage certificate was also applied through a third party, so, he’d gladly pass on having a wedding. Maybe one day, Su Li would meet a man who loved her, and they could then get a divorce and walk their own paths.
“At least my sister’s foresight is pretty good, and she didn’t choose that scumbag, Yang Hongzhi. I bumped into Yang Hongzhi several times in the nightclub, and he was hiding in a corner, throwing money to girls in exchange for their services—what a pure-bred pervert! Only my mum was stupid enough to be deceived by his appearance, think that he was an excellent man. How could she even allow herself to be convinced into drugging her own daughter with an aphrodisiac? It’s fair to say that he’s worse than a beast!”
Su Canye said a lot. He had learned about the incident from her mother. Although he found it ridiculous that his sister was married to an unsuccessful man from an entirely different social status, at least she wasn’t ravaged by that beast, Yang Hongzhi.
“Just so you know, your sister and I will end our relationship one day,” Xiao Luo said.
Su Canye stayed silent for a moment then said, “Perhaps you’re right. She has a traditional mindset regarding this, but once she figures out that this marriage won’t work, she will sever it herself. Anyway, from my point of view, you are not worthy of my sister, and for someone as excellent as her, I think only a few men in this country can match up to her.”
“You’ve thoughts are pretty profound, I must say,” Xiao Luo said, smiling derisively.
“Nah, not really…… whatever that comes out of my mouth is nonsense. I say this one day and something else, the next. Sometimes, I don’t even understand my own logic,” Su Canye replied.
“I can see that.”
Xiao Luo carried on driving without continuing the conversation as Su Canye was already chatting with Su Xiaobei and dishing out humorous jokes and brain teasers.
Su Canye was someone who couldn’t rest his mouth. The cabin of the car was filled with Su Xiaobei’s gleeful laughter.
Xiao Luo couldn’t dislike someone that Su Xiaobei liked. On the contrary, he thought of Su Canye as a funny and talkative guy. ……