Translator: Paperplane Editor: Caron_

  “Miss Ji came across something upsetting today. She was unhappy when she came back home. Mr. He hugged her and told her to cry if she wanted to. Miss Ji shook her head and said, ‘You tell Green bean that you don’t like girls who cry, so I can’t cry.’ With practically no hesitation at all, Mr. He replied, ‘You’re not a girl. You’re my wife.’ Baby Green Bean expressed that her heart ached as she completed her homework beside them. Even though dog food tastes great, you’ll feel painfully full if you eat too much!”


  “Mr. He and Miss Ji went on another honeymoon vacation, so Uncle Chen picked me up from school. After school, my deskmate said she’s having hot and spicy soup tonight. I really wanted to eat it, but Mr. He and Miss Ji are determined to cut it out of our diets. On the way home, I begged Uncle Chen and he couldn’t fight me, so he took me to eat hot and spicy soup. Uncle Chen didn’t eat any, so I ate on my own. Halfway through, Uncle Chen looked at me as though he was suddenly reminiscing something and said, ‘Your mummy also really likes to eat hot and spicy soup. For a long time, your daddy would buy your mummy a portion of hot and spicy soup whenever they went out to eat, no matter if it was at a classy restaurant by a food stall on the street.’ Baby Green Bean expressed that her heart was exhausted. She was just eating a bowl of hot and spicy soup, and yet it had to be seasoned with Mr. He and Miss. Ji’s dog food.”


  “Miss Ji went out window shopping with her best friends, Miss Tang, and Miss Zhuang. Mr. He picked me up from school in the evening. Just when Mr. He walked me into the house, he was greeted by a flying pillow to the face! Before Mr. He could say anything, Miss Ji furiously charged up to He XX (Mr. He’s real name). ‘Be honest! Who was the woman you spoke to on WeChat yesterday afternoon?!’ Miss Ji paused for a moment after saying that then continued, ‘Don’t lie to me! Zhuang X (Miss Zhuang’s real name) saw you yesterday and told me!’ In contrast to Miss Ji’s fury, Mr. He put the pillow down on the sofa beside him with a loving look on his face then reached out to hug Miss Ji. ‘My phone’s here and the password is your birthday. Go into my WeChat account and delete whoever pisses you off!’ I looked at Miss Ji, whose eyes immediately smiled, then I silently pulled out my math homework from my book bag.”


  “Today, Mr. He and Miss Ji took me to a party. Wearing a ball gown, I asked Mr. He if I looked beautiful. Mr. He nodded and half-heartedly said I looked beautiful. Then he turned to look at Miss Ji and said, ‘But my dear wife is the most beautiful.’ Baby was wrong! Baby shouldn’t have said so much!”


  “Since I am the only child and daughter of the family, I should be the most loved and spoiled one of all. But in reality, I have no power in the family whatsoever. On Chinese New Year, Mr. He gave me a red envelope but gave Miss Ji ten times more red envelopes. Mr. He gave me a little lover’s rose but gave Miss Ji 9999 roses. Over Christmas, Mr. He gave me a pair of shoes but gave Miss Ji ten pairs of shoes, ten handbags, and ten pieces of jewelry. For New Year’s Day, Mr. He dropped me off at grandma’s house and took Miss Ji to Rome for ten days. On my birthday, Mr. He gave me a watch as a birthday present, but then gave Miss Ji a whole outfit! Why did Miss Ji get a gift on my birthday? Isn’t it a little overboard how they’re doling out dog food to me?”