Editor: Sebas Tian, Speedphoenix, Joker

  I stepped outside the city’s gates after I spoke with the king. My goal was, of course, to pick up Rir so we could attend tonight’s party together. Once I found him, I had him shrink down so he was about the size of a normal wolf before heading back towards the capital. And while our attempt at entry still did cause a little bit of a stir, it went much more smoothly than I had originally anticipated. The king had sent one of his butlers, and the white-haired veteran of the service industry had vouched for us in order to ensure that we weren’t subject to too much hassle. He then showed us to a carriage which took all three of us back to the castle.

  “So this is how a fenrir looks? He is much smaller than I had anticipated.”


  “What a cute little wolf!”


  The father-daughter pair took turns voicing their opinions on my companion. They were basically asking for it, so I had him revert to his usual size. His body inflated and his limbs extended before their very eyes. It only took him a few seconds to manifest in his original form. The soldiers nearby freaked out and immediately raised their weapons, but they soon heaved sighs of relief and lowered their weapons when they saw the registration tag he was wearing on the magical self-adjusting collar I’d given him. Whoops. My bad, guard dudes.

  “H-how fearsome!” The king blinked a few times as he stared down Rir in all his glory. His voice was coloured with shock, awe, and a tiny bit of terror. “I must admit that he now appears much more in line with my expectations.”


  “Wow! The wolf was so cute! And now it’s so cool!”


  The princess’ reaction was only emphasized by the way it contrasted her father’s. She wasn’t scared at all. In fact, she immediately ran up to the large wolf, hugged one of his front legs, and buried her face in his fur. So why are kids never afraid of Rir anyway? Illuna acted pretty much the same way when she first met him. Like, dude, I’d be totally freaked out if I suddenly encountered a wolf that big.

  And so, time passed and the evening soon found itself upon us.

  We were shown to a room in the castle that overlooked the rest of the capital city.

  “Woah. Now this is what I call one hell of a view,” I said.

  “Mhm. Sure is,” agreed the hero.

  We were standing by one of the windows and staring at the beautiful scenery that was laid out beneath us. It was dark out, but the cityscape almost seemed to be enhanced by the fact that the sun had fallen. The way the streets were illuminated by firelight was so breathtaking that I’d almost wanted to call it illusory.

  The scenery around my castle was a bit too dreary to be called picturesque. I mean, it’s not THAT far behind. It’s just, you know, a tiny bit worse. Just a tiny bit. I mean, there kinda isn’t a town or anything in the dungeon, so it can’t really be helped, but I’m not about to just sit around and let myself lose. I’ll see if I can fix up something or another once I get home.

  As promised, the king had kept tonight’s party on the smaller side. The only people invited were me, the king, his daughter, Nell, and Carlotta. Rir was technically on the guest list as well, but he wasn’t celebrating with the rest of us. Instead, he lay sprawled out on the balcony. I could tell that it was an act of consideration. He had chosen to isolate himself as to avoid getting in the way of our fun. Man, he sure has one helluva sense of delicacy. If he was human, he’d probably be the kind of guy that gets swarmed by chicks.

  In other words, maids-cum-waitresses aside, the only individuals present were either members of the royal family or individuals that had played a major role in their rescue. The other individuals involved in the operation were apparently going to be rewarded with another, larger banquet in the near future. Something on that kind of scale sounds pretty fun in its own right.

  “Thank you very much for your consideration and your kind invitation, Your Majesty. I appreciate the opportunity to join you on this fine evening.” Carlotta approached the king and began adulting.

  “And as do I,” said the king. “But enough with the formalities. You and your companions are my saviours, and this feast is one that I have organised to celebrate your accomplishments. I suggest loosening up and breaking rank. I am certain that you will enjoy tonight’s meal much more if you relax.”


  “Yes, sir. Thank you once again for your kindness and consideration.”


  “Right this way Mr. Demon Lord! You too Nell!” The princess grabbed both the hero and I by the hand and led us to our seats as her father engaged Carlotta in conversation.

  “Thank you very much, Princess Iryll.” The hero offered the little lady her gratitude before turning towards me and speaking in a hushed tone. “Hey uhm… Yuki?”


  “What?” I responded in kind and spoke at a volume that disallowed everyone but her from hearing my voice.

  “She’s calling you a demon lord. Does that mean she found out?”


  “More or less, yeah. But don’t worry about it. She’s still just a kid, so I doubt they’ll think much of it,” I said. “And is it just me, or do you two know each other?”


  “Mhm. We do.” Nell nodded. “I know I might not look or really act the part, but I am still a hero. We’ve actually met several times.”


  Once everyone was seated, the maids got to work. They brought out all the food that had been prepared and laid it in front of us.

  “That… looks really good,” I said.

  “Y-Yeah, it does,” agreed Nell. “I-I don’t think I’ve ever had anything this fancy before.”


  Both of us ended up gawking as we gave our impressions. And it wasn’t just because of how good the food looked. The smell was mouth-watering. Even just the slightest whiff of it was enough to make me want to stuff my face. Fortunately, we didn’t have to bother with all the formalities that accompanied a full-course meal. The format was more akin to a buffet than anything else. Casual is best.

  “Everything we’re having for dinner today was made by our best finest chefs.” The princess reacted to our compliments with a giggle and proudly stuck out her chest as she boasted. “And we’re really really proud of them!”


  The king looked over the table once the maids had withdrawn and made sure that everything was in place. He double checked that everyone other than the princess, who had been given grape juice, had a glass of wine beside them before he started to speak.

  “I must thank you all for rescuing my daughter and I from our predicament. Though it may only be a humble offering, I would like for you to enjoy this banquet as an expression of my gratitude. Please, help yourselves. Enjoy yourselves to your hearts’ content. Now, without further ado, let us raise our glasses in celebration of your outstanding achievements. Cheers!”


  “Cheers!” Everyone present echoed the king’s final word.

  There was a clinking of glasses, and then, we all began to drink. Warmth began spreading throughout my body the moment the alcohol made its way down my throat. Whew! That hits the spot!

  I wasn’t enough of an oenophile to be able to really tell the subtle differences between two similar wines. I had just never been that much of a drinker. And yet, a sip was all I needed to understand that whatever the king had served us was of a particularly high quality. The grape-based drink had gone down so smoothly that I found myself thinking that I would have no issues drinking it until I dropped.

  Likewise, a single sip had led the hero sitting beside me to find herself enchanted. Wait a second. There’s no way she’s 20. Why the hell is she drinking like it’s nobody’s business? Er, oh wait, right. This isn’t Japan. Hell, it’s literally a whole other world. There might not even be any legal drinking-age restrictions here.

  “This is quite a fine wine,” said Carlotta. “Might this be from Thunderjew?”


  She had evaluated the drink with just a single taste of it, and started discussing particulars with the king. Well, I mean she does seem like she’s pretty high up the church’s corporate ladder. The fact that she’s fairly well versed in this kinda stuff doesn’t really surprise me.

  The king noticed that we seemed to be enjoying our drinks, so he immediately reacted by informing us that he’d allow each of us to take a few bottles home. It was an offer I gratefully accepted. I was looking forward to treating Lefi and the maids to the stuff once I got back. Especially Lefi. I can’t wait to see what she’s like when she’s blackout drunk.

  We each thanked the king for his generosity in turn, and then began digging into the food that had been heaped up before us.

  The night had turned out to be a pretty fun one. And it seemed like it would stay that way. We talked, enjoyed our booze, and ate whatever we liked. It was fun. I had a great time. But then, it happened.

  Everyone, and I mean everyone, started getting too drunk for their own good.

  ***

  “Heeeey Yuki. How mwuch have you had to dwink? That’s right! Not enough!” The hero giggled as she snuggled up against one of my arms and started topping off my glass with a nearby bottle. “Don worree. I’ll fill that cwup of yours wight back ahp so you can get bach to dwinking. Bottoms ahp!”


  “Thanks but no thanks. That’s enough! God damn it Nell, stop! It’s about to start spilling all over the place!”


  She kept pouring the bottle’s contents into my glass even though it contained far more liquid than one would normally put in it. In fact, it was filled to the brim, and she showed no signs of stopping, so I had to wrench the bottle out of her hands.

  “Hokay Yuki, I’m going to make shure you dwink it all. Open wiiiide.” I didn’t comply, so she started to pout. “Geez, you’re so shelfish. I guess I’ll haff to make shure it gets down your thwoat myshelf.”


  “Holy sh*t, chill out! You’re getting way too close for comfort!” The hero’s lips had started closing in on mine at a rapid pace, so I grabbed the glass from her and stuck it between us. “Look, alright, I get it. I’ll keep drinking, so lay off already!”


  Given no other choice, I downed the entire glass in a single breath. Eugh… My stomach is on fire.

  “Gweat!” the hero giggled. “Nwow dat you’ve dwank, you gottah eet.” She picked up something with a fork and started shoving it towards me. “Opehn wide!”


  “Hold on! Hold! On! That’s not even my mouth goddammit!”


  The hero had started shoving the utensil into the side of my face, so I unwillingly turned my head, opened my mouth, and allowed her to feed me.

  “Good wight? Now here’s anohther!” Open wide!”


  “God. Damn. It. Knock it off already! You’ve clearly had way too much booze for your own good! You’re goddamn drunk!”


  The quality of the wine had caused the hero to get carried away and drink way too much way too quickly. She was so hammered, in fact, that she had lost the ability to speak like a normal person. Apparently, she was the type of drunk that liked to stick to others and “pamper” them. Admittedly, the way she was doing it did have its own sort of appeal. It was sexy. She had totally entangled herself around my arm. However, I didn’t find myself victim to her charms. In fact, it was the opposite. I was annoyed to no end.

  I also drank a fair bit of wine myself. Rather, the more accurate statement would be to say that I had been forced to drink it. But whatever the case, I had managed to hang on and remain tipsy at worst. That said, I highly doubted that would continue to be the case if the hero kept forcing the stuff on me.

  To reiterate, everyone was drunk. The hero wasn’t the only person completely out of their minds. The princess was too.

  “You smell so good Mr. Demon Lord! So, so good! So, so, so, so good!” She had parked herself on my lap and started nuzzling her face against my chest for god knows how long. Is she trying to mark me or something? Wait, when the hell did she get drunk!?

  The princess being drunk was fact. Though I had thought that she was being served nothing but juice, it turned out I was wrong. She too reeked of the smell of alcohol.

  I looked over at the king, who had been regarding the situation with a sh*t-eating grin, evidently for the sole reason that it wasn’t his problem. I could only sigh as I found a stream of z’s coming from the old man. When the hell did he pass out!? I could swear he was still laughing his ass off just a second ago.

  I mean, I get it dude. You’re tired, and a lot has happened lately. But I mean, just saying, isn’t the host supposed to, you know, not clock the fuck out in the middle of the party? I had lost my ability to see the king in any sort of regal light. To me, he was no longer anything but another overworked, middle-aged father. Good luck, bro.

  Scanning my surroundings had led me to realize that we were short a person, so I looked around only to realize that the missing knight had joined Rir on the balcony.

  “Ahhhh… you’re so softttt… so so soft… What do you say? Want to come be my pet? I’ll give you all the headpats you could ever want… You’re just so soft and comfy…”


  Carlotta was the one person that I hadn’t expected to be drunk beyond salvation. And yet, she too had lost all semblance of time and place. Her face was buried in Rir’s flank, and she was running her fingers through his fur without a care in the world.

  Fluffrir noticed my gaze and looked over at me as if pleading for help. My response was to immediately avert my gaze and pretend that I had seen nothing. Sorry man… I’ve kinda got my hands full already.

  “Mmrph! What the hweck!” The hero puffed up her cheeks and sulked. “You’re naht supposed to lwook away in the middwe of dinner! Now open wide swo I can punish you!”


  “Mr. Demon Lord, Mr. Demon Lord! You smell so good! So, so good!”


  God. Fucking. Damn. It. Why did this stupid party have to end up being nothing but pure, unadultered chaos!?

  ***