Editor: Speedphoenix, Joker

  The feeling that came over me as my body was deconstructed was bizarre to say the least. I was still conscious even after being disassembled; I was well aware of the fact that everything had gone dark. A few moments later, I experienced the exact opposite sensation. My body was rebuilt from the ground up. My eyes regained their function, albeit gradually, to reveal that I had returned to the true throne room. My trip to the demon realm had become a thing of the past.

  I wasn’t using my own warp crystal. Mine had ultimately ended up in Nell’s hands as a result of a series of poorly timed coincidences. Fortunately, we had a spare. Enne didn’t need one in weapon form, so I had her assume it, borrowed her handy-dandy teleportation device, and beamed the both of us right back to the dungeon.

  “Oh my…” My companion, Leila, voiced her surprise right as my eyes finished adjusting. She was well justified in doing so. The first thing we had perceived upon our return was the hero.

  The half-naked hero.

  She had gone stiff. Witnessing us warp in had left her so surprised that she had effectively ended up freezing in time. Well then… Looks like someone was in the middle of grabbing a change of clothes.

  Our timing was bad, but it wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been. She was, at the very least, not fully naked; her bottom was covered by a pair of pajamas. The same, however, couldn’t be said for her top. The only thing that was hiding her chest from sight was the arm she had held in front of it. Her skin, tanned by the sun, almost seemed to glow under the dungeon’s artificial lights. Wait, I recognize those PJs. I’m pretty sure they’re Lyuu’s.

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  “…”


  The only thing that followed Leila’s comment was silence. Neither I or any of the girls spoke. We simply stood where we were and engaged in a long, uncomfortable staring contest. Well then. This is awkward. I should probably say something. Yeah, that’d probably help break the ice.

  Though I tried, attempting to speak didn’t work out, at least not at first. My first few attempts did nothing but make me look like I was trying to mime a goldfish. My brain had yet to finish processing the situation at hand; it was stuck in a loop. A good mental kick or two managed to remedy the problem, however, as I eventually managed to drop the fish act and squeeze out a greeting.

  “You know, it’s kinda hard to tell when you’ve actually got clothes on, but you’ve got a pretty nice pair of tits.”


  “Stop staring at me already, you pervert!”


  I was about to say something snarky, something along the lines of ‘Pervert? Where? What pervert?’ but sadly, I didn’t end up having the chance. My expression had apparently revealed my intentions, as my face soon found itself greeted by her fist.

  The sudden sucker punch caught completely off guard and almost immediately robbed me of my consciousness. The last thing I remembered before passing out was groaning as I flew into one of the dungeon’s walls. Sh*t… I probably… shouldn’t have… said that…


  ***

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  “I trust you understand the reason for which I have demanded your repentance?”


  Upon regaining consciousness, my swollen face and I soon found ourselves escorted out of the throne room. Lefi had demanded that I sit in front of her with my knees forward, my back straight, and my legs tucked under my butt. It was a traditional, Japanese pose, one that often signified either repentance or discipline. And in this case, it was apparently supposed to be the former.

  I had to comply. The dragon girl wasn’t happy. She seemed to be exuding an imposing, domineering aura, one that served to indicate that she would not be taking ‘no’ for an answer under any circumstances whatsoever. She wasn’t the only one either. Illuna had done her best to emulate the dragon’s pose and aura, as she too stood before me with her arms crossed. To her other side was Nell, who, like the others, was far from happy and continued to flash me angry glares one after another. That said, unlike the other two, she seemed to be feeling a mix of emotions; her cheeks were still tinged a shade of red from the incident. Is it just me, or has this been happening a lot lately? I swear, everyone keeps making everything out to be my fault even though it really isn’t. What the hell, man, what the hell…?

  “I believe it has something to do with the lady giving me the death stare, your honour.” Lefi was effectively acting the part of a judge, so I decided to play along and speak in a tone much more polite than my usual one.

  “I am pleased to know that you do not remain utterly unaware of your misdemeanours. Now speak, confess the precise details of your sin!”


  “I’m sorry, your honour. The issue was that I happened to see her naked.”


  “Geez, Yuki, I know it was an accident, but you could’ve at least been a bit more considerate!” Nell immediately began complaining about my supposed lack of delicacy.

  “You are mistaken. I would not have demanded an apology for a matter so trivial.”


  “Yeah, Yuki! You heard her! You better be mo—wait, what?”


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  Lefi’s response caught Nell completely off guard. The hero ended up cutting her own lecture short with a double-take the moment she finally realized that the two of them weren’t on the same page.

  “My anger stems from the manner in which you have dealt with the opposite sex. It appalls me to know that you have invited yet another woman into your abode. And that is but merely half my complaint! I have been informed by both Leila and Enne that you remained completely unreserved in your interactions with other women. You continued to seduce them despite my explicit warnings. I cannot believe you! What part of my instructions have you failed to understand!?”


  “O-oh, that’s what you meant… She’s still right, Yuki! You heard her! What’s wrong with yo—wait a second! Did she just imply I was seduced!?”


  Again, Nell hopped on board and began admonishing me, only to do a double-take the moment she realized that her thoughts differed from the dragon’s. Oh Nell, you derpy little thing.

  “Why do you laugh, Yuki? Do you not understand that I have ordered you to reflect upon your actions?”


  “I’m sorry, ‘your honour,’ I’ll totally ‘carry out my sentence’ or whatever. But first, I’ve got something I need to say.” I kept up the whole judge facade, but reverted to my usual, overly-casual tone. I even threw in a bit of sarcasm, just ‘cause.

  “And what would that be?”


  “So, I’ve kinda got absolutely no memory of doing any of the stuff you’re accusing me of. Iunno what you’ve heard, but I’m totally innocent.”


  “Hah!” She snorted. “A more brazen lie, I’ve never heard. Enne, I call you to the stage. Provide your testimony at once!”


  “Mmk…” The sword girl standing behind Lefi, stepped forward.

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  She wasn’t really what I would call easy to read. Her expression basically never changed. But as of late, I had become capable of discerning the subtle differences between her various emotions. That was why I could tell that, for one reason or another, she didn’t exactly seem all that happy. In fact, she was very much like the others in the sense that she too was looking at me like I was some sort of criminal.

  “Master was smitten by the girl with cat ears. And the demon with the big chest.”


  Big chest? Oh, she must mean the Rouinne chick we met on the coach. It didn’t take me much effort to recall the girl in question. Unlike most of the other people I’d met, she was memorable, in part because of her shapely figure, and in part because she was the type to wear a good bit less than she probably should.

  “Behold! A witness present at the scene of the crime speaks against you!” said Lefi. “There is little more for you to say in the face of such solid evidence!”


  “Yeah! There’s no way you could possibly talk your way outta this one!” Again, Illuna mimicked Lefi; she too raised a hand as if making a declaration. Awwwww. That’s adorable. What a cutie pie.

  “L-Look, I know things are looking pretty bad for me, but just listen. I can explain,” I said. “You see, that’s just how Enne saw things. It wasn’t how they really were. The truth is that I’m totally innocent. The whole cat girl thing was driven by curiosity since I’d never seen anything like her before. And I wasn’t into the girl with tits either!” Of course, a part of my lack of interest had stemmed from Enne herself. My trusty sword had always made sure to butt in before I lost control. Like damn, she’s so good at shutting people down that she’d put Gori to shame. Hell, she could probably even deny his signature Gorilla Dunk pretty easily if she felt like it.

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  “Mmrphh…” Enne groaned in dissatisfaction. “Bad master. No lying.”


  “Oh come on. I’m not lying. You just had it all wrong. Like come on, why would I go girl hunting when every bit of love I have to spare is already being eaten up by you girls? We are family, after all. Besides, I’m already married to the best girl this world has to offer. There’s no reason for me to ever bother going after anyone else.”


  “I-I suppose that certainly is the case.”


  “Wow! Thanks! I love you too, Yuki!” giggled Illuna.

  “Mhm. Me too,” agreed Enne.

  Going on the offensive worked. Illuna and Enne were both struck by a sudden burst of embarrassment. Lefi had it even worse. She blushed as she began to stammer and trip over her own words.

  “W-wait, girls, stop! Don’t let him trick you! He’s just trying to distract you and make you forget why you were mad at him!” Unfortunately, the individual I had failed to include in my appeal had caught onto my plans. Argghhh, I was so close! Damn you, hero! Curse you and your ability to foil my carefully constructed plans! I bet it’s just cause I’m a demon lord!

  “W-whatever the case, you must endeavour to revise your attitude!” stuttered Lefi. “Y-you must be more careful in your treatment of the opposite sex!”


  “Sure thing, wifey. Will do.” I zoned Lefi’s lecture out and started casually nodding along as she spoke.

  “And as you are my h-husband, it is imperative that you act the part. You must always carry yourself in a manner befitting that of the Supreme Dragon’s mate should you leave our lair!”


  “Aye aye, wifey. Orders received.”


  “It pleases me to know that you are willing to abide by my commands. I would not mind putting an end to your admonishment so long as you do not forget what I have said to you today.”


  “Roger that, wifey. I got it.”


  “Excellent,” said Lefi with a smile. “Then I suppose I have no qualms with you claiming another bride. Very well. I permit you to take Nell as one of your mates.”


  “Thanks, wifey. I’m glad you’re so understa—”


  …


  …


  …


  Wait.

  What?