Editor(s): Speedphoenix, Joker

  Alright Yuki, calm down. Let’s just take a deep breath and evaluate the situation. The first question I have to ask myself is: How exactly did all this happen? I’m going to go out on a limb and assume it was probably something I said.

  I mean, I don’t think I said anything too weird. All I did was say what any manager would say and tell Lyuu’s father that I valued her. And that I would lay down my life to prote—I’m a fucking idiot.

  Only after reflecting on my actions did I realize that I had effectively proposed.

  “I believe that is the expression he wears upon realizing that he is at fault,” said Lefi.

  “That’s exactly what I was thinking,” said Nell. “Yuki’s pretty easy to read.”


  “He certainly is,” said Leila, “My Lord’s expressions tend to be fairly easy to read outside of critical situations”


  “H-hold on, gimme just one sec!”


  I held up my hand and asked for him to stop as I dashed towards the rest of my family. Unlike me, they were calm, collected, and treating my mistake as just more of the usual.

  “That really didn’t work out the way I thought it would! What the hell am I supposed to do now!?”


  “As one who bore witness to the event, I fail to see why this outcome exceeds your expectations,” said Lefi.

  “I know, right?” said Nell. “You totally just proposed!”


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  Both girls responded with exasperation. Their fed up expressions made it clear that they were judging me.

  “That’s not what I meant! I was speaking from the perspective of a manager!”


  “Your intentions are irrelevant. You should have either made yourself clear or corrected the understanding before swearing your pledge. Now, it is too late,” said Lefi. “He is a stubborn man, one likely to throw a fit of rage should you attempt to recant your vow.”


  She was right. Pacifying Lyuu’s father had been a huge pain in the ass, and taking back my words now of all times was sure to negate all of my efforts.

  “Well, Yuki, that’s just what you get for being so dense and careless,” said Nell.

  “I concur. While you certainly appear to be fairly reliable, it is rather characteristic of you to make silly mistakes.”


  “But that’s exactly what you love about him, right Lefi?” giggled Nell.

  “S-Shut up. You are no different.”


  “I can’t argue with you there.”


  Girls, please. Can we not? This is way too embarrassing a topic for a time like this.

  “What’s wrong with making Lyuu another one of your wives, Yuki?” asked Illuna, innocently.

  “Yay! The more the merrier!” said Shii.

  Ms. Vampire, we need to talk. Wives aren’t objects or belongings. You can’t just randomly get more of them. That’s just not how that works.

  After a bit of internal musing, I finally decided to timidly glance in Lyuu’s direction. I assumed she was mad at me. She had remained silent with her cheeks red throughout the duration of the conversation. Her eyes peeked up at me every once in a while, but her gaze remained downcast. It was almost like she was expecting me to say or do something.

  “Hey, Lyuu?”


  “B-Bat is hit, Master?” She fumbled over her words.

  “Are you mad?”


  “A-About what?”


  “Just, you know, about all this happening without your consent.”


  “No, uhm…… Not really.” She shook her head before continuing in a voice that only grew quieter with every word. “I’m really happy you think so much of me, Master. And I uhm…… feel that way about you too.”


  Bruh. You srs? The reaction I got out of her was just about the last I had expected. Oh man, this must be what it’s like to be popular with the ladies. I guess it really does happen to everyone eventually. Ahahahahaha. Hahaha. Haha. Ha. Fuck.

  It wasn’t like I disliked Lyuu. She was pretty, fun, and easy to get along with. I knew I could cut loose around her and just be myself. But I had long hit the wife cap. Getting a second had put me over it. Three was way more than I could possibly handle.

  “So uh…… got any opinions on this, Lefi?” I immediately sought refuge in the form of a refusal.

  “I do not mind. She is no stranger to me and you have proven, with this display, that you are worthy of her,” said the dragon, indifferently.

  “W-what about you, Nell?”


  My first magazine proved itself empty, so I immediately loaded a second.

  “If you and Lefi are both fine with it, then I am too. Besides, you’ve known her for much longer than you’ve known me. And I’m in part only still here right now because of her goodwill, so I couldn’t possibly say no.”


  Shiiiiit. Alright, third time’s the charm.

  I looked around the room in a desperate attempt to find another card to play. But there weren’t any. Leila was smiling along as if none of this was any of her business. She wasn’t going to be of much help. The kids, on the other hand, were far too innocent to understand the implications of marriage. As far as they were concerned, all that mattered was that everyone was together forever, which meant they would definitely have supported the strengthening of our ties.

  Oh, fuck it! I don’t care anymore. Two? Three? There ain’t no goddamn difference. Fuck fighting it. I give up. At this point, I might as well just catch ’em all.

  “Lyuu.” I said her name in a strong, commanding tone, much like that of a drill sergeant.

  “Y-Yeah?”


  “You’re staying right here in this dungeon forever, and enjoying every moment of it. Got it?”


  “G-got it, Master! I’ll be by your side forever!”


  “Alright, next question. You okay with marrying me?”


  “Totally, Master! I’d love to be one of your wives!”


  “Okay, that’s two for two,” I said. “Now get the hell over here.”


  She squealed in a derpy display of surprise as I pulled her into a hug before picking her up, princess style. One of my arms was poised under her knees, while the other was wrapped around her back.

  “U-Uhm, Master, this is real embarrassin’.……”


  “Shut up. Stop complaining.”


  She looked up at me with her face dyed a deep shade of scarlet. She was begging to be put down, but I ignored her and walked back over to the ring with her still in my arms.

  “Well, I guess this means we’ve reached an agreement. Lyuu’s mine now.”


  “.……Very well.” He paused for a moment. “Lyuu.”


  Though his words were directed towards his daughter, his eyes remained focused on me.

  “Y-yeah, dad?”


  “You’re free to come home if you ever get sick of him. But never forget that this is the path you chose yourself. I won’t let you go back on your word without good reason.”


  “I know, dad. It’s okay…… I’m not a kid anymore. I understand what I’m askin’ for here. I won’t change my mind. Not now, not ever.” Her cheeks remained a shade of red, but she spoke in a serious tone. “This is somethin’ I decided a long time ago. I want to live here. With Master and all the others. The village isn’t my home anymore, dad. This is.”


  Lyuu’s father closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Only after a few moments did he slowly open them once more.

  “I understand. I will speak to Lynaut, and all the others, and ensure that they accept this decision. Our decision,” he said. “I’ve already said this to that husband of yours, but I will come again to check on you in a year. Do your best to make sure you grow into your new role by the time that comes to pass.”


  Lyuu’s expression brightened. A big smile appeared on her face as her father voiced his approval.

  “Okay! Thanks dad!”


  He finally turned his gaze away from the two of us as he humphed. “What an exhausting day. It’s been nothing but one unexpected occurrence after another.”


  “You’re welcome to stay at the inn if you want. You guys are basically my in-laws now, so I’ll make sure we give you a nice, warm welcome.”


  “Thank you. We’ll gladly accept the offer,” he said. “And as a man about to see his daughter off, I would appreciate the chance to sit down and share a drink with the man who has become her husband.”


  “Sure. Can’t really say no to the in-laws, after all,” I said with a shrug.

  “No, I don’t suppose you can,” said the warwolf, with a bit of a reluctant smile.

  And that was how I ended up with yet another wife. Wow, uh, is it just me, or does that statement seem kinda fucked up?