Editor(s): Speedphoenix, Joker

  It was simply intuition. The moment their eyes met was the moment the two girls came to the mutual, instinctive understanding that they were destined to be at odds.

  “Welcome home, Enne,” said Illuna. “Who’s the new girl?”


  “Iryll. I met her when I was with Master,” said the sword. “We’re friends now.”


  “Wow! Nice to meet you, Iryll! I’m Shii!”


  “It’s nice to meet you too, Shii,” said the princess. “Uhm… What race are you?”


  “I’m a slime!”


  “You’re a slime…?”


  Iryll met the other girl’s happy smile with a puzzled frown, but soon allowed it to fade. While she had never heard of any human-shaped slimes before, she immediately recalled that she was in a dungeon, which meant it would have been stranger not to encounter anything unexpected.

  Once she was done greeting the overly friendly monster, the princess turned to the girl that had set off her instincts. “Hi, it’s nice to meet you. What’s your name?”


  “I’m Illuna,” said the blonde. “Nice to meet you too, Iryll.”


  At first, the encounter seemed like an everyday, friendly exchange, but as was made clear to everyone present, it was far more than just that. Both girls’ eyes immediately shot to the top of each other’s heads in order to examine their relative heights. There was, objectively, no practical difference between them. It took careful scrutiny for the two to conclude that Iryll was only the tiniest bit taller, and to them, that was all that mattered.

  The princess put her hands on her hips, stood as tall as she could, and grinned in an adorably cocky manner as Illuna grumbled in lament of her loss. Fortunately for the vampire, it wasn’t over. There was still another point of comparison.

  As if in sync, the pair’s eyes turned serious yet again as they shot to each other’s chests. While they didn’t know why or what for, they were aware that men preferred women with larger breasts, so they made it a point to use them to judge one another’s worth.

  Again, they were basically on par, but a detailed-oriented analysis showed that, this time, it was Illuna that came out on top. As such, she puffed out her chest with pride while Iryll was left groaning in frustration.

  “It looks like we’re tied,” said the princess, upon recovering. “Let’s face off again when we both grow up some more.”


  “Okay,” said the vampire. “But I won’t lose!”


  “You took the words right out of my mouth!”


  Upon having formally acknowledged each other, the two young rivals shook hands and called it even in a sportsmanlike fashion.

  “What are they doing?” asked Shii.

  “I don’t know,” said Enne.

  The sword and the slime both tilted their heads to the side in an attempt to get a new perspective on the situation, but to no avail.

  “Did you have her come outside so you could show her the castle?”


  “Mhm,” said Enne. “I wanted to show her around. And introduce her to everyone.”


  “Okay! Then let’s all show her around together!”


  “Thank you veryeek!?” Iryll squeaked out a scream as her eyes dropped, only to realize that there were a group of heads sticking out from between her legs. “G-g-ghosts!?”


  “Nope!” said Illuna. “They’re wraiths. The one on the left is Rui, the one on the right is Lowe, and the one in the middle is Rei! And you know what’s really neat? They’re sisters!”


  Unlike the princess, Illuna was so well adjusted to the trio’s antics that her reaction upon seeing them in their newfound positions was to introduce them.

  “B-but aren’t wraiths supposed to be ghosts?” asked Iryll as she trembled in fear.

  “They are…? Well, then I guess they might be ghosts. I’m not really sure.”


  Illuna looked around for confirmation, but was unable to secure anything along the lines of an answer.

  Shii and Enne had responded with “dunno,” and “me either,” respectively, whereas the wraith girls had looked at each other only to shrug in confusion.

  The fact that even the wraiths in question seemed to be less than receptive of her words led Iryll, who had originally been the most confident of the group, to begin doubting herself.

  “Oh well! It doesn’t matter if they’re ghosts. They’re still our friends anyway!”


  “R-right. N-nice to meet you.”


  The sisters began spinning circles around the princess, as if to respond to her greeting with goodwill.

  ***

  At first, I had been a bit concerned as to whether Iryll would fit in with the other girls. Fortunately, the way she quickly ran off with all the other girls as soon as I finished introducing her to the rest of the dungeon’s residents proved that my worries were unfounded, even in spite of the fact that she was a literal princess. Just sayin’, watching them play does wonders for one’s inner peace. It’s practically enlightening.

  “Wow, Master,” said Lyuu. “You sure do work fast. And this time, you’ve even gone and fooled yourself a princess.”


  “Oh please,” I said, rolling my eyes. “Stop trying to make me out for some kinda playboy.”


  Honestly, given the circumstances, even I’ve started to think I might be at least a bit of a horndog, but I’ve definitely not stooped as low as becoming some dumb playboy. You see, playboys go out of their way to pick up girls, and I’ve done literally none of that. I mean sure, I was responsible for summoning a bunch of monsters, but everyone else that lives here kinda moved in on their own. I was never the first one to make the suggestion. Therefore, I am not a playboy. Q.E.D.

  “There you go makin’ excuses again,” Lyuu prodded me in the side with an elbow. “But with this many girls all over you, waitin’ on your every beck ‘n call, they ain’t really holdin’. You can’t say you ain’t a perv, Master, and that’s a fact.”


  I couldn’t stand the annoying smirk she was giving me, so I grabbed her by the cheeks and started tugging away.

  “Oufh! Daft hurdz, mafter! Bwat’re you doin’ dat for!?”


  “Your cheeks are always so nice and soft, Lyuu,” I said.

  My fingers felt like they were in heaven. Her face wasn’t addictive to the touch the way Lefi’s wings were, but it was still really nice in its own way. The difference between them is kinda like the difference between a silky pillow and a fluffy one, if you know what I mean. They’re both great, but in different ways.

  “Fwine mafter! Haff it your way! Ahm not gunna let you bully me foreffer!”


  The warwolf reciprocated my antics with equal aggression in kind. She brought her hands to my cheek and began pinching and pulling, but not before I managed to get a line in. “Hah!” I snorted. “You wish to challenge a demon lord? Very well, I shall make you realize the height of your folly!”


  I wasn’t actually sure why I was getting all fired up, nor why I had started role playing, but after making the declaration, I engaged her in a contest of endurance, one that neither of us were willing to lose.

  ***

  Upon returning to the true throne room a bit later in the day, Lyuu and I were met by Lefi, who cocked a brow and gave us a confused stare.

  “Why is it that the both of your cheeks appear so swollen?”


  “Oh, you know…”


  Lyuu and I voiced identical, simultaneous replies before awkwardly laughing the question off—a response that left the dragon even more confused than she had been upon our entrance.