Editor(s): Joker, Speedphoenix

  “Yuki, Yuki!” Illuna ran right up to me with her arms spread wide.

  “Sup?”


  “Gimme a piggy back!”


  “Uhh… Sure, I guess…”


  It was rare for the vampire to ask to be pampered, so I decided to indulge her.

  “Wow, I’m so high up!” she said from atop my shoulders. “Can you take me to where everyone else is?”


  Oh, that’s what she wants.

  “Let me guess, you guys are pretending to be giant monsters?”


  “Yup! Can you help me?”


  “You betcha. Let’s show those innocent civilians how real monsters go on killing sprees! Ghwarrhahaha!”


  I followed up the sinister-sounding declaration with an odd, roar-like laugh, a laugh she immediately mimicked.

  “Yeah, let’s do it! Ghwarrhahaha!”


  Our transformation complete, the two of us headed out into the yard.

  “Mothluna spotted! She combined with Master. They’re gonna be strong, but we’re still gonna win!” said Shii.

  “No. You won’t. Mechenne will win,” said Enne.

  “I see that it was not incorrect of me to assume that you too would be made into a part of this game.” said Shii’s mount

  “I figured that’s who she was gonna be gettin’ when she went back inside,” said Lyuu.

  The dragon had paired up with the slime, while the sword had paired up with the war wolf. Well then. I was expecting this to be the type of enactment where there’s a giant monster and a hero to save the day, but apparently we’re going with the “clash of the monsters” route instead.

  The girls liked to throw random twists into their games for fun. Sometimes, I wonder why or how they end up coming up with ideas like this. And then I realize it’s mostly my fault.

  “Hmph,” Lefi snorted. “Know that I stand above all of you. For I am the greatest giant monster!”


  “The greatest!” echoed Shii.

  “I am the only one of us truly capable of serving in the capacity of an enormous, deadly creature. You pathetic whelps are but scraps for me to consume.”


  “Yeah! Lefi’s super strong!” said Shii.

  “Heh, you two are gonna be in real big trouble if you keep misunderstandin’ the circumstances,” said Lyuu. “We can get a bunch of times stronger by unleashin’ our secret maid powers! The moment we pull them out’ll be the moment you start losin’, e-even if I’m already startin’ to have a hard time keepin’ Enne held up!”


  “…Do your best,” said Enne.

  As this wasn’t anywhere even remotely near the first time we were playing this particular game, all three of us started to take our monster poses, which caused the girls to cheer excitedly.

  It was pretty obvious that Lyuu’s knees weren’t going to hold for too much longer, so I made a mental note to knock her out first when it came time to battle, just to make it a bit easier on her.

  Battle mainly consisted of trying to make each other fall over. With how soft the ground was, it was unlikely for anyone to get hurt, even if they faceplanted into the grass or fell off someone else’s shoulders. Probably ’cause Lefi cast a spell on it beforehand. Heh. Guess I’m not the only one using magic for random shit totally unrelated to combat anymore.

  “Enough chit chat. Let’s let our bodies do the talking,” I said. “That way, you can both see why I’m the only real monster in town!”


  I began the assault, moving carefully to ensure that Illuna wouldn’t fall off.

  As mentally noted, I made sure to start by going after the most unstable target, Lyuu.

  “Grrrrn, you ain’t gettin’ me that easy!” She planted her feet into the ground and used her hands to grapple me. “Now’s your chance, Enne! Give ’em a taste of their own medicine and knock ’em right off!”


  “On it.”


  “Aahhhhhhahaha! That tickles! Stop!” shouted Illuna.

  “Mothluna’s weakness, found and exploited,” said the sword.

  Enne jumped off Lyuu, landed on me, and started tickling Illuna.

  “Heh, it’s over, Master! You were payin’ so much attention to me that you dug your own grave!”


  Now finally free from the literal weight bearing down on her shoulders, Lyuu transitioned from grappling to tickling and assaulted me much the same way her rider had assaulted mine.

  “H-heyasyhaha! B-be careful where you’re touching! That’s definitely not appropriate!” I said, between stifled laughs.

  “You ain’t right, Master! We’re engaged, there ain’t nothin’ off limits anymore! I can touch you wherever the heck I want!”


  “C-cheeky littlegagakgha shit! I’m definitely not going to forgettajkshdf you said that!”


  “Wow, Master, you’ve got a pretty rockin’ bod!”


  Given that there were not one but two girls on my shoulders, I had no choice but to just take the assault.

  Fortunately, I didn’t need to think up a way out of the scenario. All the help I needed came in the form of a third party.

  “You shall doom yourselves should you forget my presence! Shii, show them the depths of despair!”


  “Okay! Get ready, everyone. ‘Cause here we come!”


  Lefi approached us and lifted us both into the air, little girls and all.

  “Woah!?”


  “Waaahhh! What the heck!?”


  “Wow, Lefi, that’s amazing!” said Illuna.

  “Super duper amazing!” said Shii.

  “Too strong,” said Enne.

  “Behold a true monster’s methods! The squabble that the two of you have engaged in is but petty before a display of might!”


  “Damn it, Lefi Kong!”


  “Release the children, Yuki, for I shall soon throw you.”


  “You’re going to do what!?”


  The six of us weren’t the only ones present in the garden. The wraith girls were floating overhead as well. All three of them had playful grins plastered all over their faces, which was to say that they were, without a doubt, up to no good.

  “I see you up there, girls! And I know you’re planning something, so show us what you have in store!” I shouted.

  They obliged with the biggest shit-eating grins. After taking a moment to channel their mana, they caused the ground to shake, creating a huge dust storm, behind which stood a massive shadow.

  As the dust cleared, the creature, which stood at the castle’s height, revealed itself. It was a giant lizard, the sort that was clearly capable of firing atomic breaths and sustaining itself through the consumption of radiation. I have to say, they really pulled all the stops. The entrance was done particularly well. It really was the type of arrival befitting the king of the monsters.

  It was clearly an illusion born of Rui’s magic, but all three of us took a step back, as if intimidated, regardless.

  “How terrifying…” I said. “…But it’s not too late. If we join forces, we can take it down.”


  “I shall comply. Let us refrain from fighting amongst ourselves for the time being and eliminate that monstrosity.”


  “S-sure thing! I’ll get it real good with the power that’s been awakenin’ inside me!”


  With our ceasefire in place, the three of us began dashing towards the massive reptilian. Or at least we tried.

  Before we could reach it, the creature opened its mouth and began to gather a storm of nuclear energy.

  “T-this cannot be. We must retr—”


  The beam was fired before she could finish giving her warning. The air itself seemed to burn beneath the force of the attack. Well, not really, but that’s besides the point.

  With nowhere to go, we were all caught up in it and evaporated in our entirety.

  The end.

  ***

  “That was awesome! When did you girls learn to do something like that?” asked Illuna.

  “I guess Rei, Rui, and Lowe won this time,” said Shii.

  “I admit defeat,” said Enne.

  “And I admit fedeat!” said Illuna.

  “Tefead!” said Shii.

  While the girls were happily cheering, Lefi, Lyuu, and I were taking our sweet time sitting around and letting ourselves relax.

  “I’m pooped,” said Lyuu. “I really needa start gettin’ some more exercise.”


  “The children have quite the abnormal stores of energy…” said Lefi. “Do you wish to join me the next time I seek to cull the Wicked Forest?” asked Lefi.

  “…I dunno,” said Lyuu. “I’ll try thinkin’ ’bout it.”


  Contrary to my expectations, she was serious. But at the same time, I could more or less see where she came from. It was only natural for an adult to pull all the stops for the sake of the children.

  “Getting stronger is nice and all, but make sure you don’t get hurt trying,” I said with a grin.

  “Anyway, I think the girls have had their fair share of the fun, so whaddya say we get in the bath? You did your best today, Lyuu, so I’ll make sure you have it easy.”


  “U-uhm, if you don’t mind, I’ll take you right up on it,” she said, with a blush.

  “I shall also join,” said Lefi.

  I suddenly had an idea. And after exchanging a brief glance with Lyuu, who wore an impish smile much like my own, I was convinced that it was a good one.

  I wrapped an arm around Lyuu’s waist and, while completely ignoring Lefi, began heading over to the bath.

  “W-wait! Do not leave me behind!” she shouted.

  Again, we looked at each other and smirked.

  “Why the panic, Lefi? Did you think we left you behind or something?”


  “Wow, Lefi. You’re real cute for gettin’ all anxious like that.”


  The mix of shame and anger the dragon experienced caused her to flush.

  “I-If the two of you wish to act in such a manner, then I shall declare our truce over and come at you with even greater force!”


  “Oh shit, Lyuu, Lefi’s mad. Let’s get the hell outta here!”


  “Don’t need to tell me twice, I’m already runnin’!” said Lyuu.

  The two of us shared a laugh at the dragon’s expense as we made our great escape.