.  ‘Mom!’ I cried, begging her desperately, but she just took my hand off her with no hesitance.

  Pointing at the apartment hallway, she told me, ‘I don’t know what you said to her, but go apologize to Yeo Ryung. Come on, it’s not her fault to get straight A’s at school and have better grades than yours.’


  ‘Ah……’


  ‘If you don’t go to her and apologize, you’re being the same kind of person that you always blamed for hating Yeo Ryung.’


  Standing there still on the spot, I remained silent, then, instead of going outside to follow what my mom urged me to do, I just went into my room and slammed the door shut.

  My mom pounded on the door like crazy and shouted, ‘Donnie! Ham Donnie!’ but I didn’t respond and just rolled myself up in the blanket, closing my ears. Violent impulses surrounded me, so I stayed still like a human burrito, or else, I couldn’t bear the urge to break and rip out things into pieces.

  Then I suddenly stood up and flung open the closet door. In the corner of it, there was a rolled paper. I took it out.

  A bunch of messages was written on it with all kinds of colored markers and pens. Although my name was there on top of it, almost half of the messages weren’t about me.

  [Donnie! I envy you for being Yeo Ryung’s best friend.]

  [Good job–always being there for Yeo Ryung.]

  [Donnie, a friend of the perfect Yeo Ryung!]

  And among those messages, a note written with a light pencil came into view.

  [Leave Yeo Ryung alone.]

  The little Donnie wept aloud in sorrow, shoving her face on the blanket. And the next day, when I bumped into Yeo Ryung, I started off my day by ignoring her who said hi to me.

  My mom became bewildered. Holding my hand, she pulled me to a place where Yeo Ryung couldn’t see us.

  She shouted, ‘Donnie! I told you to stop being jealous of Yeo Ryung! That doesn’t make you get accepted to the school!’


  I even neglected my mom as well. The more I got to disregard Yeo Ryung intentionally, the more time my mom spent comparing me with the perfect girl next door. Even that couldn’t put me down. The little Donnie endured it with a strong will.

  When the admission letter finally arrived, informing my acceptance, my mom seemed relieved probably because she thought that I wouldn’t misbehave anymore. However, I still didn’t say anything to Yeo Ryung. Perhaps I was determined to utterly end our relationship.

  Then one day, in the morning of March 2nd, I woke up from bed. When the white school uniform came into my sight, I murmured to myself in surprise, wondering what it was. While my mom slapped me on the back, I barely finished eating breakfast, wore the uniform, and stepped outside to our apartment hallway. And there stood Ban Yeo Ryung, greeting me with a dazzling smile.

  Having no idea about the promise I’d made to myself in this world, I just stared blankly at the beautiful girl, then carefully replied–


  ‘Um, hi……’


  As her smile became richer, it made my heart flutter like crazy. I thought it was because I’d never seen such a drop-dead gorgeous before, but now I had come to think of it, that could have been a warning sound that I, in the past, was sending as an alert.

  ‘No, not that way. You must not go in that direction!’


  ‘Don’t mess up the things I’ve struggled to keep this way.’


  But instead of responding to those warnings, I grabbed Ban Yeo Ryung’s hand.

  Waiting for Ban Yeo Ryung to bring her yearbook messages, I spend a little more time browsing mine again. It still looked pathetic, making me sigh.

  The whole surroundings at that time seemed like they were pushing me to hate Yeo Ryung. The hatred I had about myself, who wasn’t always good enough in everything, was now targeting her as I felt so sick and tired of being compared to her.

  Then let’s say, what if I, who shifted to the Ham Donnie in this world at fourteen, also inherited her memories? In some movies or TV dramas, I saw characters being switched into someone else’s bodies and naturally receiving their memories.

  If that also happened to me, would I be able to keep our friendship no matter what? Could I walk a different path from the destined future? The more I became doubtful about those questions, a much deeper sigh I heaved.

  Since my mind was full of negative thoughts for hours, I felt dizzy and a bit painful. Closing my eyes, I shook my head a couple of times, but as long as I was staying at this house, I knew that these thoughts wouldn’t leave me alone.

  The emotions and thoughts that the previous owner of this room had seemed to have stuck everywhere, which were now criticizing me for living indifferently in peace until now.

  All kinds of things I’d gone through in this world felt like a drop in the bucket when being compared to those I’d learned just now. Well, that’s true. I smiled bitterly.

  I wasn’t actually the center of the things that happened so far. If I tried, I could always step away from those events or incidents, but this happening was completely about me. It was derived from my emotions and behaviors.

  I folded my hands together. Although this thing was incomparable to those that happened to Eun Hyung, Jooin, and other kids, I still couldn’t clear my mind and get out of the thoughts.

  Closing my eyes tightly for quite a while, I, at last, got up, feeling unbearable to just stay put. Above all, I wasn’t sure how to face my parents who would soon come home from work in the evening.

  Wearing a hoodie, I pulled it over my head and left the house.

  I had nowhere to go but just decided to follow anywhere my feet would lead me.

  The trip was originally planned to return home in the evening. However, it just ended within two or three hours. Having something in mind, Woo Jooin changed his clothes and directly headed to a cafe, instead of going back home.

  As he sensed his phone vibrating in his pocket, Jooin took it out and put it beside his ear.

  “Hello? Jooin?” the person over the phone asked.

  He replied, “Oh, Yeo Ryung.”


  Throwing a glance across the table, Woo Jooin slightly sat in a different position and tossed a question.

  “Are you doing okay after your memories came back? Dizzy or confused, no?”


  “I’m doing fine, but Donnie……” she said in a tearful voice.

  Woo Jooin opened his eyes wide and directed them to the other side again. The person whom his eyes reached flinched in surprise. Then he switched his hand to hold the phone and continued to speak, looking subdued.

  “Mama? What’s about her?”


  “You know, when Donnie told me that she doesn’t have her memories of the past, I got angry,” replied Yeo Ryung.

  “Ah…… yeah, you did.”


  She continued, “But after I thought about it at home, Donnie seemed to have lost her memories around the time when we had a big fight…… so perhaps it’s my fault that she confronted a memory loss. You know, the stress and pain she had after the fight could have disrupted and impaired her memories.”


  “Yeo Ryung, come on, why are you exaggerating? You don’t have to push yourself too hard every time.”


  “But what if it’s really because of me……? Ah, anyway, so I sorted out my mind and went to Donnie to apologize. I told her that her memory loss could actually be my fault. Then I confessed a few things that she forgot……”


  “Uh-huh.”


  “As if those things called forth some memories, Donnie roughly guessed with whom it was related to and what she had said. So, I thought perhaps her memories were also coming back, but Donnie looked somehow disturbed and upset, not refreshed. Well, maybe because she’s been living without those memories for a long time, she could respond that way. Anyway, then she told me to bring her something, so I did, and right now……”


  “Right now?” Woo Jooin slightly raised his voice, listening to her story.

  “No matter how many times I rang the bell, she doesn’t come out. Not even answering the phone. I have no idea where she is. Is she outside for a while? Should I call the police?”


  At that moment, Woo Jooin covered the speaker mic with his thumb and turned his head, then he asked a question to the person sitting across the table.

  “What should we do?”


  The person rolled her eyes for a moment then replied determinedly, “If the lost memories that Ham Donnie has found are what I have in my mind right now…… it isn’t the right time now for Ham Donnie and Ban Yeo Ryung to see each other.”