Doggotranslation

  Doggotranslation

  “Yes. What I did was not right, but miss, what about you? Let’s just leave the fact that you were wearing sunglasses earlier aside first.” I pointed to the traffic sign on the corner and said, “Look what it says. No vehicles are allowed to make a left turn until 21:00. The speed limit is 40 miles. What time is it now? Half-past eight! And if you look at that tire marks you left behind, I’m afraid that it was going well over forty miles an hour before you hit the brakes, right?”


  The beauty was reduced to silence, and her face was twisted as if she had just eaten durian.

  I had already figured out what happened. Even if this girl was a police officer, she was definitely not a traffic police officer. Nine out of ten she was not in a good mood earlier, and she wanted to take it out on me.

  “I was driving under the influence, but you also violated the traffic rules. Let’s not talk about who was right and who was wrong. It will not be good for both of us if you report it. Since no one is injured, let’s forget about it. I’m busy, so I’m leaving now. Bye!”


  If she was smart, she should know that if she really made a big deal out of it, she would be in bigger trouble than me. At most, I would just be fined with some money, but she would probably face disciplinary actions. Think about it, if I got fined, there was no way I wouldn’t file a complaint against her terrible and unprofessional attitude.

  The policewoman was obviously not happy. She said aggressively, “You! You have guts! You’d better not let me catch you in the future… ”


  “What are you going to do about it if you catch me? Eat me?”


  “You… ”


  Probably hearing the argument between me and the policewoman, Mo Fei moaned softly in the car, “Water… ”


  I quickly opened the door and was about to get in the car. “We are almost home. Once we get home, I’ll get you water.”


  “Stop! Don’t move!” The originally pale-faced policewoman suddenly became extremely excited as if she had overdosed on some stimulants. Before I knew it, she had already pushed the car’s door back and blocked it tightly. “I’m now suspecting that you are attempting to drug-rape a woman!”


  ‘What?! The pure and innocent me, who is still a virgin wants to drug-rape a woman? Who is that woman? Mo Fei? Ain’t that some nonsense!’


  I didn’t know whether I should laugh or cry. I had never seen a police officer having such childish behavior. “Officer, what are you talking about? Who did I drug-rape?”


  The policewoman emphasized complacently, “I didn’t say you did. I said you were attempting. Just confess it honestly. The six drug-rape and blackmail cases that happened this month were all done by you, right? Probably you are the mastermind of the photo scandal in Bei Tian city! Huh! No wonder I felt something was amiss when I saw you. Look at you. You are not very old, and the clothes you are wearing right now look very cheap. How can you afford to drive a BMW! Tell me. What’s your full name, and what’s your relation to the woman in the car? Did you drug her!”


  “Are you done! The joke you made is not funny anymore!” I was furious. ‘This police is clearly messing with me! Photo scandal? She thought I was Edison Chen or something?! Was she going to relate me to all kinds of rape cases later on?’


  But before I could raise my brows in anger, the cold sweat appeared first; and the cold, black muzzle of a pistol was pointed against my forehead!

  ‘She is armed!’


  “You think I was joking?” The policewoman said with a cold pretty face, “Answer my question honestly!”


  ‘It was just a traffic accident! Is it really necessary to draw her gun!’ I was so angry that I almost wanted to take the gun by force and show her what a real rape looked like.

  However, it was just a thought. I didn’t have that kind courage. I just obediently gave her my name; and fearing that she might not believe me, I gave her my identity card and driving license as well.

  I had been living in this world for 24 years now. Today, I saw a real gun for the first time, and that gun was still pointed at my forehead. I didn’t dare to provoke the woman further. Who knows if she got angry, she might misfire the gun by accident.

  “So the woman in the car is your boss?” This bitch frowned, sneered dubiously, and mocked, “You have a very unique taste.”


  ‘Ah! This bitch!’ I held back the impulse to slap her and said, “Whoever likes you has a unique taste. My boss is at least thirty years younger than you, and she is only twenty-five.”


  The policewoman’s expression had just softened a little; but hearing what I said, her face instantly dropped again. Gnashing her teeth with hatred, although she didn’t say anything, from the way she glared at me angrily, it seemed like she was quite proud of her appearance. It was quite a surprise for me to see that the feminine side of her.

  “Miss, miss, please wake up…” The despicable woman held the gun against the back of my head and asked me to squat in front of the window. At the same time, she was trying to wake up Mo Fei, who was in the car.

  Mo Fei had just vomited, and she was still very drowsy. Slowly raising her head lethargically, her groggy face had a unique magical charm, making both of us stunned for a few seconds.

  Without her cool and serious disguise, Mo Fei looked like an innocent young girl. I couldn’t help taunting the policewoman, “See, my boss is younger and prettier than you, auntie.”


  “I… ” The policewoman wanted to hit me, but seeing Mo Fei was indeed very young and pretty, and realizing that she had made a wrong assumption earlier, she couldn’t help but feel a little bit guilty; so she held back the impulse of wanting to hit me and asked Mo Fei, “Miss, excuse me. Do you know this man?”


  Mo Fei’s misty eyes stared at me in confusion for a while. In my encouraging and pleading look, her eyes became clear slightly; but all of sudden, she reached out her hands, made a hugging posture, and then shouted, “Daddy… ”


  Hearing what she shouted, I almost puked blood.

  “Ha! Got you! You sick pervert!” The policewoman was so excited that she kicked my butt and cursed, “don’t tell me that you have a daughter who is older than you, you sicko! Let me see how you are going to spin this one! Tell me, did you drug her?!”


  I was so frustrated that I completely ignored the gun that was pointed at the back of my head. I leaned my body forward to get through the car’s window and shook Mo Fei very hard. “Ms. Mo, wake up. Oh my god please wake up and take a look again. It’s me, me!”


  “Huh?” Mo Fei slightly straightened her slender body and finally spoke before the policewoman trying to hit me again, “Chu Nan? What are you doing here? Where is this?” She was confused.

  This bitch ignored my innocent look, and confirmed again, “Young lady. Do you really know him?”


  “Yes. Of course, I do.” Mo Fei was still very drunk, she hugged my neck and giggled foolishly, “He is Chu Nan. We are colleagues… No, it’s a friend. Hehe, my friend… ”


  “Is it?… ” The bitch seemed to be very disappointed. She took back her gun, but still stared at me angrily, “I’m sorry, I made a mistake.”


  Her apology was not sincere at all! But because Mo Fei was still drunk, and I still had a little sister at home, I really didn’t have time to argue with her.

  Quickly taking back my ID card and driving license from her, I just said angrily, “you should feel lucky that I am a forgiving person. Huh! Drawing the gun at an ordinary citizen? Luckily, you met me today, if it were someone else, you would have serious trouble! Just one piece of advice for you; after you go home, buy some medicine to help with your bad temper. Don’t just take it out on random strangers on the street. If it was seen by children, it would seriously affect the police’s image in children’s minds. Got it? Auntie police…”


  Although I was not drunk, after drinking a certain amount of beer, I also couldn’t help but start to talk a lot.

  Maybe that rude policewoman realized the consequences I said, or maybe she still had resentment towards me but couldn’t be vented, when I drove away, from the rearview mirror, I saw her standing in the middle of the road and secretly wiping her eyes with the back of her hand…


  Was I too harsh on her? Who knows. Thinking about how rude she treated me earlier, I just considered this as a lesson to her.