Translator: Nyoi-Bo Studio Editor: Nyoi-Bo Studio

  At the crack of dawn, Zhang Zian and the elfins were once again startled awake by the noise of firecrackers coming from outside.

  It was louder than usual since it was New Year’s Eve, the day for families to reunite and ring the new year in.

  Setting off firecrackers on New Year’s were said to be a method to repel a monster known as “Nian.” The method slowly turned into a tradition, but nowadays, due to how dangerous it was and concerns of air pollution, many big cities forbid setting off firecrackers.

  Last night, Zhang Zian couldn’t really sleep and knew that Pi couldn’t either, as it constantly moved around. Even though Pi softened its movements, the ivy chair still let out soft creaks. It was only once it was close to daybreak did Pi finally fall asleep.

  Pi woke up startled by the noise, it sat up from the ivy chair, planning to turn on the computer.

  “Pi, wait! Don’t go on the computer today. How about taking a break?” Zhang Zian stopped Pi. “Didn’t you already upload the VIP chapter for today? You can leave the next chapter for tomorrow.”


  Pi scratched its head, looking back and forth between Zhang Zian and the computer. It seemed like it really wanted to go the computer, to work and see if there was an increase in adds.

  Pi was used to typing every day, and now that it was told that it didn’t need to work today, it’d be hard for it not to feel a little uncomfortable.

  “Pi, all of us are heading out today. Do you want to stay at home alone?” Zhang Zian asked. “I know today is an important day for you and your readers, but you could at least take a break, right?”


  Pi stared into Zhang Zian eyes as it nodded.

  “Hold your horses! What do you mean ‘all of us?'” Fina yawned. “I, the queen, didn’t know that we’d be leaving today. A commoner shall not make decisions for the queen! I have yet to settle my business with you two, making so much noise last night and disrupting my sleep!”


  Pi shrank back and hid behind Zhang Zian.

  “Meow! Your Majesty, in my opinion, there is only one reason a male misbehaves, and that’s because they aren’t castrated.” Snowy Lionet glanced at Zhang Zian’s groin, licking its paws. “As long as Your Majesty gives the orders, I’ll be at your disposal, like a dog or horse.”


  “You’re a cat, what do you mean ‘like a dog or horse?'” Zhang Zian closed his legs and kept his guard up as he scoffed.

  “Is that even a question? It’s obviously because dogs and horses have a lower status than cats,” Snowy Lionet responded with its head held high.

  Famous stood up. “I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that.”


  “Stop fighting! Only parrots are superior, everyone else is of a lower status,” Richard said from under the blanket.

  Zhang Zian pointed at it. “You get out here! I’ve yet to settle our issue from last night.”


  Richard flew out, rolled its eyes, and said, “What happened last night? I don’t remember, but I take responsibility for whatever I did.”


  Zhang Zian thought, Stupid bird, acting like a fool, trying to confuse us.

  “There’s no need for you to take responsibility, just behave and come down for a good smack, that’s all.” Zhang Zian gestured towards Richard.

  “Ha! I remember everything,” Richard said cheekily. “Off with their robes general and emperor, spent the long night in the bedchamber. With the presence of the winged general, emperor attending court is now just hypothetical!”


  Freaking hell!

  Zhang Zian’s brain went blank for a moment, it wasn’t because of how obscene the parrot was, it was because every sentence was so familiar. Although he knew that Richard must’ve heard it from various sources, he couldn’t seem to recall where it was from.

  “Pi!” Zhang Zian couldn’t be bothered with Richard anymore. “Don’t ever put this into your novel, there are primary students reading your book. I won’t take responsibility if you lead them astray.”


  Zhang Zian knew that teachers would often show their students’ papers, as some of the mistakes were entertaining. If a primary school student put this poem in their paper, it’d go viral.

  Although Pi was the author, it didn’t have an identification card, so Zhang Zian’s signed it’s contract. If the matter got too big, Zhang Zian would be in lots of trouble.

  “Zhi zhi.” Pi nodded.

  Pi was able to type in Chinese, but Chinese poetry was a different story.

  Unfortunately, Pi was a little distracted, and already forgot what Zhang Zian said earlier.

  “Meow! Zhang Zian, are we going out to play hide-and-seek?” Galaxy asked.

  “Yes, we’re going out to play hide-and-seek! You guys can see the fireworks up close too,” Zhang Zian said while looking for the feather duster.

  Old Time Tea put on his bamboo hat, and asked, “Zhang Zian, isn’t it forbidden to set off fireworks in the city?”


  “We’re not going to set off fireworks in the city, we’ll be heading to the countryside, to the base for retired police dogs,” Zhang Zian explained. “The director asked me to make a trip to check on the police dogs, so once I’m finished with that, we could all head out and have some fun.”


  Actually, the main reason why Zhang Zian bought the firecrackers was to let Old Time Tea celebrate the New Year’s.

  Director Feng Xuan, the film crew, and the final production crew were all busy, so they couldn’t come to Binhai City. Zhang Zian heard that the editing for the movie was already done, now they were rushing through the finishing touches, so that they’d be able to participate in the Berlin International Film Festival in late February.

  As one of the three biggest film festivals in Europe, showing Dog Warrior at the Berlin Film Festival was akin to its premiere. Everyone in the film crew had high expectations for the festival, it’d be great advertisement if they got an award.

  Feng Xuan and the others had no time to spare, so they asked Zhang Zian to check on the police dogs on their behalf. With that, they’d be able to put out a statement at the end of the movie that said, “Proper arrangements were made for all animals involved in the production of this film.”


  Feng Xuan also asked if Zhang Zian had a passport, so if Dog Warrior was nominated, all of the crew, including Famous, could go to Germany to receive the award.

  Zhang Zian went to America not long ago, so he still had his passport.

  Could Dog Warrior really get an award? How are the ladies in Germany?