Translator: Nyoi-Bo Studio Editor: Nyoi-Bo Studio

  Sihwa didn’t feel that the live-broadcast hosts were all that good. She thought that although she had just started live-broadcasting, she could do better than them. The only problem was that she didn’t have legs and could not leave the bathtub… all she could broadcast was her singing and playing different games.

  She didn’t know how to play games, and according to Zhang Zian, he couldn’t understand what she was singing, anyway. Did that mean she had to learn human songs?

  She was against this idea, as human songs were restricted to a narrow range to her. Both the high and low keys were stuck in a very small range; calling them “songs” was a complete insult to the word.

  Because of that, she didn’t want to learn any human songs. She could conquer the world with her beauty alone, right? Like the expression said: “If one could make a living with a pretty face, then why bother acquiring talents?” It was against her fish life principle of surviving on minimal effort!

  She selected a “beauty” tag for her broadcast room with great confidence. Then she took a few deep breaths and activated her live broadcast room.

  Wait, nobody is here…


  It was normal to have no visitors. Nobody knew about her live broadcast just yet, after all. Even spreading the news from word of mouth took some time.

  She waited for a while. The number of visitors was still zero.

  “What is this! Did the cheapskate pick the wrong live broadcast app? It’s not popular at all!” she mumbled and complained.

  If Zhang Zian were there, he would have certainly pointed out that she picked the wrong time. How many people were streaming live broadcasts on a weekday morning? Besides, it was her first broadcast. She should at least have chosen an evening; that was when most of the viewings occurred.

  Sihwa waited for visitors to enter the broadcast room, glancing at the battery level icon from time to time.

  “What’s wrong? Why is the battery bar going down so fast?”


  She tried to think and then guessed the reason: The camera was on. She had learned a long time ago that the camera drained the battery fast.

  “Crap. If I wait like this, the battery will be dead before night comes! What a bad decision! I didn’t think of this!” She knocked her head gently in remorse.

  It looked like she would have to beg Fina to charge the phone for her in secret later that afternoon. As long as she could have 30 minutes to charge her phone, then the phone could last until she went to bed that night.

  Each time she begged Fina, it looked at her hatefully. Most people could not take that look in its eyes, as if it had asked: “Do you live just to play with the phone?”


  One time, it did ask her that question out loud. She had answered assertively: “Yes!”


  After hearing her answer, Fina was speechless for quite a while. Sihwa should have taken a picture of its face then. But then she considered that if she offended it, nobody would help her charge the phone, so she decided to not act stupid.

  She waited for a while longer, but there still weren’t any visitors in the broadcast room.

  She heard Zhang Zian leaving the aquarium with two other people. The sound of them traveled further and further away.

  At that time, she realized the biggest inconvenience of live broadcast: She could no longer play with her phone while broadcasting. Even if there were no visitors, all she could do was wait.

  As seconds and minutes ticked by, the decreasing battery level was nibbling away her confidence.

  At one point, she even doubted if other live broadcast rooms had visitors, either. But after exiting and visiting other rooms, she found that the other rooms were very busy and active; yet, her own looked like a ghost’s live broadcast room…


  “How can it be… D*mn it! That cheapskate will look down upon me!” she said to herself while clenching her teeth together. As soon as she thought of Zhang Zian’s stingy face, she wanted to slap it with her tail…


  She waited another long while, but still no visitors entered her broadcast room.

  After keeping the same posture for a long time, her arm grew tired from holding her phone. Since there were no visitors, she fixated the phone on the soap dish, shower gel bottle, and other miscellaneous items. Then she adjusted the angle for a sideways filming from one side of the bathtub. Her face and shoulder were captured in the screen, as well as the bathtub rim. She finally had her hands free.

  Another ten minutes passed and there still wasn’t anybody in the room.

  Her excitement slowly cooled down; her mood grew weary. After all, she had played with her phone until late last night, and the sun had woken her up very early that morning.

  After confirming the number of visitors one more time, she yawned.

  “Fine, I’ll just nap on my arms––just for a little while.” She made up excuses for herself. “Fina naps all the time. It sleeps much more than me, so it’s fine if I get a little more sleep!”


  She crossed her arms on the bathtub rim, put her face on her arm, then twisted her body into a comfortable position. She closed her eyes and fell asleep quickly.

  In the quiet bathroom, time ticked down without hurry. So did the phone battery.

  Suddenly, the seemingly frozen live broadcast screen changed.

  [Little Small Bear] entered the live broadcast room.

  [Little Small Bear]: The first!

  [Little Small Bear]: …


  [Little Small Bear]: What a quiet room. But the girl seems good. So pretty!

  [Little Small Bear]: Hostess, are you there? Don’t sleep anymore. Wake up for your guest!

  [Little Small Bear]: Hey! Hey! Wake up! Wake up!

  [Little Small Bear] sent a moon cake and left a message.

  Five minutes later.

  [Little Small Bear]: Crap. Is this an inflated doll?

  [Little Small Bear] left the live broadcast room.

  Two minutes later.

  [Swordsman] entered the live broadcast room.

  [Swordsman]: Haha! The first!

  [Swordsman]: Wow! What a pretty girl! Is the retouch function really that powerful in live broadcast apps these days?

  [Swordsman]: Girl, are you broadcasting your bath? Stand up. Let me see if you are wearing any clothes.

  Four minutes later.

  [Swordsman]: Boring!

  [Swordsman] left the live broadcast room.

  ******

  An hour passed; it was almost noon.

  Zhang Zian was still in the grass field, working to complete the interview with Famous and the other two television station crew members.

  ******

  [Little Overlord] entered the live broadcast room.

  [Mr. Grape]: Welcome.

  [Little Overlord]: …Are you welcoming me?

  [Mr. Grape]: Yes.

  [Little Overlord]: Fine. I didn’t think there was anybody here. I was about to say that I was the first.

  [F*ck The Wildest Dog]: You are not the first. There was already someone here when I entered.

  [Little Overlord]: So, what is the room broadcasting?

  [Mr. Grape]: I don’t know. As far as it seems, it’s broadcasting sleep.

  [Little Overlord]: Crap! There are people watching live broadcasts of sleep?

  [F*ck The Wildest Dog]: The hostess is very pretty, so people would like to watch her sleep.

  [Little Overlord]: Fine; that sounds reasonable… But is she really sleeping?

  [killme]: Let me be honest. I’ve been watching for over half an hour. The hostess is indeed sleeping.

  [Little Overlord]: …How do you know that she’s not dead?

  [killme]: Because during the 17th minute, her eyelid twitched. I thought she was about to wake up, but I was wrong.

  [Little Overlord]: …This is so sick! So what are you watching really?

  [F*ck The Wildest Dog]: I want to know when she will wake up.

  [Mr. Grape]: So do I.

  [Warm and Cozy] entered the live broadcast room.

  [Mr. Grape]: Welcome.

  [Warm and Cozy]: Thanks! What’s being broadcasted here?

  [killme]: Sleep.

  [F*ck The Wildest Dog]: Sleep.

  [Little Overlord]: It’s said to be sleeping.

  [Warm and Cozy]: …There are people watching a live broadcast of someone sleeping?

  [Little Overlord]: I just asked this question.

  [killme]: It’s because the hostess is very pretty. So there are people willing to watch her sleep.

  [Warm and Cozy]: …You guys are so boring!

  [killme]: People watch live broadcasts because they are bored.

  [Warm and Cozy]: At least other live broadcast hostesses have some content, such as food, outdoors, talents, and even games…


  [F*ck The Wildest Dog]: What kind of content does a hostess need? All they need is a pretty face.

  [killme]: Right.

  [Warm and Cozy]: …Are all men like this––they think that all a woman needs is a pretty face? Is this too shallow?

  [Little Overlord]: Indeed…


  [killme]: Why is this shallow?

  [Warm and Cozy]: Haven’t you heard the expression––”All good-looking skins are the same. But each interesting soul is unique?”


  [killme]: Bullsh*t! Everybody likes good-looking skins. Only the soul itself will find itself interesting, I’m afraid.

  [Little Overlord]: Hey! Stop arguing! Actually, I think [Warm and Cozy] makes sense. But in reality… good-looking skins are just popular! If I broadcast myself sleeping, nobody would want to watch. Who would find out what my content is like?

  [F*ck The Wildest Dog]: I just like pretty faces. How can you call me shallow?

  [First First First] entered the live broadcast room.

  [Just Walk Don’t Stop] entered the live broadcast room.

  [Mr. Grape]: Welcome.

  [Little Overlord]: [Mr. Grape], are you a robot?

  [Warm and Cozy]: I like people with content. Pretty faces are from nature, while content is cultivated with nurture. I like hard-working men.

  [First First First]: I, Tianjin Daniel Wu, do not agree!

  [Little Overlord]: I, Shenzhen Aaron Kwok, haven’t talked!

  [Just Walk Don’t Stop]: I’m Nanjing Leonardo DiCaprio. Go away, ugly ghosts!

  [First First First]: Eunuch Li! Here you are! Follow me into the Forbidden City to meet the queen!

  [F*ck The Wildest Dog]: Hehe. If I find you a 1.4-meter tall man with crooked teeth, pimples all over his face, and foul breath as soon as he opens his mouth, would you like him? Can you kiss him?

  [Warm and Cozy]: …This example is too extreme. It’s hard to find a man like this.

  [F*ck The Wildest Dog]: At least it’s easier than finding a hostess as pretty as this one.

  [Little Overlord]: That is true… I’ve never seen a prettier hostess than her on this broadcast platform.

  [killme]: So, regardless of what you said, you pay attention to pretty faces.

  [Warm and Cozy]: …I didn’t say that I didn’t pay attention to pretty faces. Just in comparison, I pay more attention to the content!

  [killme]: If someone can’t attract you with a pretty face, then how would you be interested in finding out about their content?

  [Just Walk Don’t Stop]: What’s there to argue about? To me, a girl’s pretty face is more important than anything! As for men…


  [First First First]: The criteria for men are simple: Pan, donkey, Deng, young, free, money, money, money, money, money!

  [Warm and Cozy]: What does that mean?

  [First First First]: As handsome as Pan An; a d*ck as big as a donkey; as rich as Deng Tong, the richest man in Han Dynasty; young; and has free time to spend with women. One can only get five points if he can achieve these five criteria… But as long as he has money, he gets at least six points!

  [Warm and Cozy]: Shallow! Dirty! I’m not talking to you anymore!

  [Warm and Cozy] left the live broadcast room.