Chapter 868: Do Some Splits for You
writer:Jie Po      update:2022-08-16 15:56
  Translator: Nyoi-Bo Studio Editor: Nyoi-Bo Studio

  Zhang Zian fussed with Richard for a while, chasing it from upstairs to downstairs.

  Richard flew to the chandelier, confident that Zhang Zian would not attack it in order to not break the chandelier.

  Zhang Zian had to pause their boring Tom and Jerry game. Besides, he didn’t want to disturb Pi.

  “Zan! Zan!” Sihwa called from the bathroom.

  Zhang Zian didn’t recognize that she was calling at first; he thought she was practicing her pronunciation. As she kept shouting, he finally realized that she was calling him.

  “It’s Zi’an, not Zian!” He said after walking into the bathroom. “Just like I told you earlier, it’s Xi’an, not Xian.”


  “Too complicated. It’s almost the same!” Sihwa waved her hands half-heartedly. “You are a man. Don’t be so picky like a woman!”


  “This is about my name!” Zhang Zian emphasized.

  “Let’s not talk about this first. What happened to the woman just now?” Sihwa asked, pointing downstairs.

  At that time, Zhang Zian noticed the small bathroom window was open, along with the curtain.

  It was springtime, but the wind was still cold. The small bathroom window was usually closed, and Sihwa was not dressed warm.

  Clearly, Sihwa had heard the noise downstairs and felt curious. She had opened the window on purpose so she could hear better.

  “Which woman? The running one?” Zhang Zian bent his body over to shut the window.

  “No. Don’t treat me like a kid! Of course I know the running one. Doesn’t she pass by here every day?” Sihwa pouted, and sat akimbo in anger.

  “The other one? The other one is a first-time customer. She had a diabetic episode and passed out. The running one happened to pass by and saved her,” Zhang Zian explained. “Why are you asking?”


  He wondered why Sihwa was suddenly interested in Chu Manhua. Was it because of the “hua” in her name? No. Sihwa might not even know how to write “hua.”


  “I wanted to start the live broadcast, but the dog was barking so loud downstairs that I lost the mood for it. I opened the window to listen…” As Sihwa spoke, she became hesitant.

  “What’s wrong?” Zhang Zian saw that she looked unusual, as if she was thinking hard about something. It was rare for her––she was a girl with big boops and small brain.

  “I can’t figure something out,” she said in confusion.

  “What is it? Care to tell me about it?” Zhang Zian grew more curious.

  “You?” She looked at him with distrust. Honestly, the look was hurtful to him.

  “What’s wrong with me?” He looked down at himself. His clothes seemed fine today, and his zipper was even closed.

  “You are a man.” She pointed out.

  Zhang Zian was totally lost. “So you want to discuss this with a woman?”


  Sihwa believed that finding a woman to discuss things with was not realistic. She sighed and said sadly, “Actually, all I want to find out is why that woman was abandoned by her boyfriend…”


  “Because her boyfriend can’t accept her diabetes.” Zhang Zian shrugged. “Is this bothering you? This man is just an individual case. He can’t represent all men.”


  Sihwa looked sadly at her long and strong fishtail under the water. “If Oppa knows I’m a mermaid––one that will never turn into a human––will he not accept me? Or will he even… abandon me?”


  Zhang Zian didn’t know how to answer her, thinking that Oppa’s existence was very likely just in her imagination. If his existence was questionable, how could he abandon her?

  Nonetheless, ever since Sihwa had showed up, she seemed to be searching for romantic love with all her being. She was even willing to search for her Oppa across half the globe… Of course, that was also related to her disoriented nature. She didn’t seem to have any idea how far half the globe actually was.

  “My live broadcast audience members often say, ‘I don’t know what to say. Let me do some splits for you!’ If one day I find myself having nothing to say to Oppa, I can’t even do splits…” Her mood grew more depressed.

  Holy crap! She believed that?

  Zhang Zian was totally speechless. That was an Internet buzzword. She actually believed that those male Otakus were able to do splits? Even if they forced themselves to do splits, they would only end up ripping their balls apart!

  “If Oppa doesn’t accept me and abandons me, I’m afraid my only choice is to die! Oh no…” Sihwa wiped her tears with hands and sobbed. “What is the least painful way to die? If I hang myself, my face will look ugly. Cutting my veins would hurt too much. If I throw myself out of the window, I won’t die since I’m only on the 2rd floor. I may have to drown myself in water! Oh no.”


  There were too many things to vent about that Zhang Zian didn’t know where to start.

  “Humph! Are you living your life only for a man?” Suddenly, an aloof and despising voice came from the outside.

  Sihwa paused her half-hearted sobbing, then looked at the bathroom door with Zhang Zian.

  Fina walked in with a poker face. It stared at her coldly and said, “What’s the big fuss about your Oppa? Why are you stooping so low? If you want happiness, you must fight for it, no matter if you are a cat or a fish! I just can’t help despising women like that… Being abandoned by a man somehow makes their world collapse. I want to throw up! Hysterical!”


  Zhang Zian was shocked. Fina barely expressed its despise toward someone so explicitly. Maybe it had been treating humans as servants and bugs. Of course, it complained about him every day––that was just its daily routine.

  Both him and Old Time Tea were kind of annoyed to hear Sihwa mentioning “Oppa” all the time. Yet, Old Time Tea was too much of a gentleman to say anything, and Zhang Zian was too busy to say anything. Fina was the one who said it outloud so explicitly in such an unforgiving tone.

  The elfins and other people were all empathetic to Chu Manhua’s misfortune. Getting a chronic, deadly disease and being abandoned by a boyfriend she had been dating for years was indeed a tragedy, but he didn’t expect that Fina had a completely different view about it. Maybe it was because it always wore a poker face that nobody noticed it.

  “Fi… Fina…” Sihwa was shocked, too. Tears glittered on her long eyelashes.

  Fina said ruthlessly, “That woman changed jobs for a man, lost weight for a man, learned makeup for a man––she always put herself in a low and humble position! God rewards brave and strong people! Women should be like this too! A real, admirable woman should have her own ambitions and goals. No matter what difficulties and setbacks she encounters, or if she gets abandoned by a man or not, she should never renounce her own responsibility! Now, wipe your tears dry!”


  Normally, Zhang Zian would be teasing it by now, but he stayed totally quiet. The sounds of typing and fluttering wings also paused, as if the entire world was frozen.

  Normally, Sihwa would be crying after being criticized like that, but she wasn’t. Her small mouth was half-open, as if she forgot to cry as a result of Fina’s great impact. She wiped off her tears like a robot.