Prologue

  “At the end of the day, kinship is a really strange thing.

  It is the fetters that bind two people tightly together.

  At the same time, it also places a cruel chasm which is impossible to cross, between two people.

  When I was young, I used to feel fortunate to have such a doting elder brother who treated me as the apple of his eye. I thought I was the most blessed girl in the whole world.

  Now that I’ve grown up, I hate the fact that the same blood flows within me and the man whom I love with my whole being.

  We’ve traveled the same road, loving each other all that way, and erred all that way.

  From ignorant affection and girly adoration, to a strong desire for us to be together always, to the time that the things of the world barged in and heartlessly pulled us apart.

  How far away is forever?

  Eternity can exist in a single thought.

  Even a lapse of judgment can result in shame.

  Dongyu, do you know that even though the world is huge, I have nowhere to go and no one to rely on?

  *****

  Whether it is God or anyone else, who can explain to me what love is? If no one can explain it clearly, then why can’t I fall in love with Dongyu?

  It’s been a long time since I left home, since I left the country. But up to now, I’ve not been able to resolve this question.

  For many years, I had searched for the balance between love and Dongyu, until I received news of the sudden marriage—
“Xiachun, let me tell you some good news. Your brother is getting married soon. When are you coming back?”
On the other end of the phone, her father’s voice sounded old and uneasy. He spoke carefully, “Come home. Everyone misses you…… your mother, I, and…… and your brother. Everyone misses you……”
At that moment, I took a deep breath. It was like an explosion. My mind was a complete blank.

  This piece of news, which brought much joy to the whole family, had sent me to the deepest part of hell.

  Holding the microphone tightly, I was silent for a long while before I tried my best to bring my trembling voice under control. “Okay……”
After hanging up the call, I realized that the back of my hand was already covered in blood.

  Father said to return home. That was home but it was also not home.

  I also never thought that reality would be so cruel. So cruel that one moment, one would be in heaven and the next moment, it’s hell.

  I once regarded him as my entire world, but I never thought that this world that was once warm and cozy, would collapse like the clouds of the past.

  Moreover, so suddenly……

  *****

  The next day, I booked a flight home.

  I knew that going home would not be a wise decision this time round.

  I’d waited so long and this was the sort of news I got. I thought, even if I were to give up, I should give up more thoroughly.

  I wanted to see him for myself. If he was truly happy, then I should try to let go of this unforgettable relationship.

  The moment I got off the plane, I suddenly felt a stinging sensation at the tip of my nose. Looking at the sea of people before me, I felt a sharp pain in my heart and tears welled up in my eyes.

  I walked through the crowd with difficulty, but my footsteps were very slow. Every step I took, I would stop. From time to time, I would pass by strangers.

  I still remember eight years ago, when I left this city with a heart devoid of all hopes, it was the same scene.

  The travelers who were in a hurry, sad family members parting ways, turning back for that one last look before they left. Everything seen through those eyes were painted in a shade of grey.

  Now setting foot on this land again, this city seemed to have changed significantly.

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