However, the truth was that the so-called meeting my doom was merely an illusion.

  I would not be reduced to ashes.

  In a sense, this could be considered a terrifying punishment, or a cruel death sentence. Fate wouldn’t kill me, but it would torture me until the next layer of flesh was removed.

  I thought, this was probably my retribution.

  “Xiachun, what’s the matter?”


  Han Xiao was probably startled awake by my trembling. She turned on the lights, only to see me biting onto the blanket and clenching my teeth tightly while holding back my tears.

  She held me tightly, probably trying to give me as much reassurance as possible.

  I greedily wanted to absorb her warmth. I hugged her and whispered, “Han Xiao, I’m scared…”


  I was afraid. I was afraid that sooner or later, this matter would be exposed, brought out in the open.

  I was afraid. I was afraid of how Dongyu would look upon me with disgust when he would find out about this.

  I was afraid. I was most afraid of being abandoned by the world.

  …


  The rest of the night passed in a daze. The next day, Han Xiao woke up and so did I, in a blur. When she saw that I was awake, she asked me to go to school with her.

  I didn’t dare set foot in the school.

  I told her I wasn’t going, I asked her to go ahead.

  She asked me why I didn’t want to go to school.

  I said nothing more.

  She tried to persuade me using all sorts of means, but I was adamant. I wrapped myself in the blanket and curled up in the corner, hugging myself.

  She was completely helpless, so she left by herself. After she left, I locked the door behind me and locked myself in the room alone. Then I just lay there in bed, staring up at the ceiling, but I couldn’t stop the tears from falling.

  Back then, I was so desperate that it felt like my world was crumbling.

  But I had no idea who was going to help me hold things together, if my world crumbled.

  I knew that it would be too weak, if all I knew were tears.

  However, other than crying, I didn’t know how else to face myself.

  I didn’t feel hungry after a day without food; I didn’t feel thirsty after a day without water.

  And just like that, late in the afternoon, I heard footsteps outside the door, as if whoever it was had returned. I hugged my own shoulders timidly and started shivering.

  Then, someone knocked on the door. I didn’t dare to speak or make any noise. I was afraid that it was Han Xiao’s parents. Then I heard Han Xiao’s voice. “Xiachun, it’s me, Han Xiao.”


  Only then did I get off the bed and walk to the door. I unlocked it and just as I opened the door, I saw Dongyu’s erect figure standing at the doorway. Seeing the door had opened, he didn’t wait for me to react before barging in.

  The door flew wide open.

  I was scared out of my wits. I backed away and stared at him with a pale face. His face was filled with anxiety, anger, worry, and concern!

  “Why didn’t you come home!?”


  Dongyu approached me and questioned me angrily, “Where did you go the other night? Do you know that Mom and Dad went crazy looking for you?! They’ve already lodged a police report. They thought you were missing and something bad happened!”


  I stared at him with my mouth agape. Then, I felt betrayed and angry!

  I looked towards Han Xiao. Her skinny figure was curled up at the side, as if she was afraid that I would vent my anger on her. She didn’t dare to look at me.

  “Don’t look at her! This has nothing to do with her!”


  As Dongyu spoke, he reached out to grab my arm.

  My shoulders shrank back violently, and I backed away from him. “Don’t… don’t touch me…”