As I cried, I said, “I regret it! I don’t want to be with you anymore. I hate you. I’m tired of you. Is that enough reasons? Su Qi, can you let me go? I don’t like you, so don’t force me, okay?”


  I roared at him hysterically. In my desperation, my body slid along the wall and I fell to the ground, powerless.

  In my heart, I thought I’d just fend for myself. No one should care about me.

  Besides, I really… really didn’t know how to face Su Qi or Dongyu for that matter. My world had completely detached from theirs, there was no longer any common ground.

  I hugged my knees to my chest and silently wept, gritting my teeth.

  Su Qi, on the other hand, stood helplessly in front of me. He wanted to reach out to me, but when he extended his hand, he saw that my shoulders kept shrinking back. His hand eventually froze in midair and slowly withdrew.

  I hadn’t seen Su Qi since that day.

  He didn’t come looking for me again, and I didn’t look for him either.

  Every day, I went to school by myself and went home by myself. On returning home, I quietly did my homework. I was obedient like a walking corpse.

  Until one day—


  That morning, I flipped open the calendar. May 10. A special day.

  Ever since I had my first period in the beginning of the first semester, I would bleed on the 9th of every month. That month, it didn’t happen.

  I waited for a long time, but it didn’t show even after a long and dreary week.

  I panicked.

  In junior high school, although we were ignorant about the matters between a man and a woman, we had vague concepts.

  I’d learned long ago that whatever was due would show up. And if it didn’t, then something must have gone wrong.

  During computer science class, I secretly looked up information on the Internet. The reasons given for a missing period were rather standard, but the greatest suspicion would be pregnancy.

  It was only a few hundred meters between the computer lab and my classroom. I couldn’t recall how I was feeling as I walked back to the classroom after computer class.

  Pregnant?!

  That idea was too heavy for me to bear.

  …


  I didn’t have the guts go to the hospital for a checkup. After three days of inner struggle, I finally gathered enough courage to walk into the drugstore after school to buy a few pregnancy tests kits under guidance.

  God knows how I managed it.

  Throughout it all, I kept my head down, not daring to meet those people’s strange stares. However, I could hear them whispering behind my back, remarking what kids were like nowadays, getting pregnant at such a young age. They said we didn’t have any self-respect or self-love.

  “Kids these days are really amazing! At her age, I didn’t even dare to hold a boy’s hand!”


  I fled the drugstore like a pathetic deserter running away from a tough battle.

  How would I have known?

  How would I have known that something like that would happen, much less something like an accidental pregnancy.

  And I didn’t know that after that incident, I should have taken the morning after pill.

  At that time, parents were very vague about the relationship between a man and a woman. The early sex education class only depicted the differences in the structure of the human body between the two genders, but it did not tell us how to deal with the aftermath after an accident.

  My mother only told me not to fall in love early, but she didn’t say anything about pregnancy after sleeping with a boy.

  The pharmacy staff said that the pregnancy test was best done in the morning. The first stream of urine in the morning was supposed to be most accurate.

  I checked twice in total. The first night, because I was too nervous, I didn’t sleep well.