I tested twice in total. On the first night, because I was too nervous, I didn’t sleep well. The results of the test didn’t seem very accurate. One bar showed that I wasn’t pregnant. However, this result didn’t seem very accurate, so I didn’t relax much.

  After two days, I took another test, only to see two bars appear on the test paper. One was an obviously red bar, and the other was of a very light color.

  I didn’t know what that meant. I went to the drugstore to ask again.

  The person at the counter said casually, “That means you’re pregnant! Go back and tell your parents about this. You probably only just got pregnant. Just go to the hospital for an abortion.”


  “How… how do I abort?”


  “Just like that!”


  She suddenly looked at me curiously, her gaze filled with disdain. “I say, you’re so young, yet you’re already pregnant. But you don’t seem to have any sense of shame at all. Didn’t your family tell you that girls should have self-respect and self-love? Who would want to marry you in the future, when you’ve had an abortion at such a young age?”


  I don’t know how she could say such cruel things so lightly.

  I didn’t say anything and left with my head down. Outside the pharmacy, I sat on the steps and hugged my knees as I cried helplessly.

  Abortion?

  Wouldn’t an abortion cost a lot?

  But I couldn’t afford that much money.

  The news hit me like lightning from out of the blue. I felt like I was in hell, isolated and helpless.

  At that time, Han Xiao was the only person I could think of.

  After school, I suddenly pulled her aside and stammered.

  She noticed that I had an odd expression and didn’t look her in the eye. I couldn’t form a coherent sentence for a long time, so she became anxious. “Xiachun, what’s wrong? Is there something you need?”


  “Han Xiao…”


  As soon as I spoke, my voice trembled violently.

  Perhaps she noticed my odd behavior, she finally looked at me seriously. “What’s going on?”


  “I think… I think I’m pregnant…”


  My voice buzzed quietly like a mosquito, and every word was squeezed out from between my teeth with much effort.

  Han Xiao’s expression changed drastically and her eyes widened in disbelief. “What!?!”


  “I haven’t had my period for a long time… I tested twice, I think I’m pregnant… What should I do? Do you know anything about these matters?”


  “How did you get pregnant?! You and that man…” Her voice trailed off. Afraid that she would agitate me, she avoided the main point and asked, “Did you not take any precautions?”


  I felt even more embarrassed. I bit my lip and shook my head.

  Han Xiao was also at a loss for what to do. She said anxiously, “I don’t know much about these things either… Why don’t you take leave and I’ll accompany you to the hospital for a checkup? Then if you’re pregnant… get a painless abortion…”


  Advertisements for painless abortion could be seen everywhere on the streets.

  I said helplessly, “But… I heard that abortion surgery costs a lot of money. I can’t afford it… and I can’t possibly ask my mother for the money. She won’t give it to me. What if she asks me for the reason… I can’t tell her…”


  …


  “She’ll break my legs.”


  Han Xiao immediately calmed me down and said, “Don’t be nervous. I’ll help you find out if there’s any other way apart from the abortion surgery! Don’t worry for now.”


  On the way home, we passed by the pharmacy. Han Xiao asked me to wait for her while she went into the pharmacy by herself. Fifteen minutes later, she walked out with her face flushed and a box of medicine in her hand.

  I guessed from the look on her face that the pharmacist must have thought she had gotten pregnant by accident and said something unpleasant.