I rubbed the corners of my eyes and closed the diary, awkwardly hiding it back in my desk drawer. I placed it in its original position as if I were guilty of a crime.

  Suddenly, from where I was, I heard the main door of the house opening and shutting.

  “Dad, Mom, I’m home!”


  At the same time, a gentle female voice followed almost immediately, “Uncle, Auntie, we’re back!”


  “Have you communicated with the cathedral?”


  “Yes! We’ve sorted out the details!”


  The girl sounded very cheery as she said, “How blessed! I’ve always hoped for a church wedding!”


  A man’s deep voice suddenly interrupted her. “Where is she? Did you manage to pick her up?”


  I found the voice somewhat famliar. It sounded vaguely like Dongyu’s, only it seemed a little more powerful than I remembered.

  At the time we parted, Dongyu’s voice was just breaking. It was a little hoarse in the midst of changing…


  We had never spoken on the phone in all these years, so I couldn’t quite recognize his voice when I first heard it.

  I immediately went to the door and quietly shut it, then locked it from inside the room.

  I did it almost reflexively, as if I was avoiding something.

  Soon after, I heard footsteps approaching the room. My breathing suddenly stopped, and I tensed up.

  I heard my mother saying, “We just got home not long ago. She’s resting in her room!”


  “Dongyu, is the ‘her’ you’re talking about your sister who went overseas to study?”


  “…”


  “Dongyu, what’s the matter?”


  “Shh!”


  The man’s voice suddenly became gentler. “My sister is timid and afraid of strangers. Don’t scare her.”


  “…”


  “Mom, take her to the living room.”


  “Alright, Anning. Come with me to the living room!”


  “Oh… okay, Auntie.”


  Their footsteps faded away.

  I leaned my back against the door, and then I heard footsteps stop outside.

  The distinctive tapping of leather shoes against the hard flooring rang out.

  I leaned my back against the door and looked out of the window with a blank gaze. Through the door, I suddenly sensed the breathing outside becoming heavier.

  It was him.

  I recognized his breathing.

  We were once so close to each other. His breathing, his heartbeat, I could remember them even in my dreams.

  I turned around in a daze and reached for the doorknob, but I didn’t unlock it immediately.

  Knock, knock.

  He knocked lightly on the door. Through the door, I couldn’t imagine what he’d become now. I could only picture him at the age of 18, youthful and handsome. His every frown and smile tugged at my heart.

  But eight years had passed and he was 26 now. He would have grown into a mature man, wouldn’t he?

  What would he look like?

  As I was thinking these thoughts, I heard Dongyu say gently, “Xiachun… it’s just me, alone.”


  …


  “Open the door?”


  I turned to face the door, my hand on the doorknob suddenly trembling violently. I opened my mouth. I wanted to call his name, but…


  Somehow, it had become strangely unfamiliar.

  My throat seemed to be blocked by something that rendered me unable to utter a sound.

  A sense of fear, helplessness, and embarrassment overwhelmed me all at once. I slowly let go of the door handle and retreated in defeat. I looked at the door and imagined an outline of his figure, but ultimately fell onto the edge of my bed and hung my head.

  “Xiachun, talk to me.”


  “…Are you okay?”


  He sounded a little nervous. He turned the doorknob and realized that the door was locked. Then, it was quiet outside again.