Chapter 36 - Pigs get roasted
writer:Samsarawithwords      update:2022-08-16 17:11
  ’I can’t believe this is going so well!’ Ben was chatting up one of the two hot girls that Antonio opened. The group of four were dancing and chatting. So far, everything was perfect.

  When Antonio opened them, they warmed up to him right away. Then he signaled Ben over and it became a two on two, with strong cooperation between the cousins. There was no need to compete when both girls were so attractive!

  Antonio whispered into Ben’s ear. "Bro, we should bring these two to your dorm, they seem down."

  Ben also thought so. These two were local NYU students with fake IDs like him. Their dorm was far away and they seemed very easy-going and into him and Antonio. Ben found it hard to believe, but he thought something might happen with these two!

  Too bad for Ben, but nightlife was a fickle club-s.l.u.t.

  As the four were dancing together, getting ready to escalate things, a snarky female voice emerged from behind Ben and Antonio. "Becca, Jamie, why are you two dancing with these two?"

  Ben turned around to find a girl he hadn’t seen before. She was short, overweight, and had a rough face, but as he scanned her clothes, he saw they were all top luxury brands. He could also smell alcohol on her breath even from a distance.

  "Karla!" The two girls with Ben greeted the new girl. Ben’s girl walked over and exchanged kisses, before pointing to Ben. "They’re nice! These are Antonio and Ben."

  Ben held his hand out to greet Karla.

  She looked down her nose at his hand and grimaced. Then she turned to Ben’s girl and said, "Ew……I don’t talk to losers, and I definitely don’t touch them, okay? I can tell they’re poor from looking at them……Tch. Why’d you want to meet here anyways? This place is full of bridge and tunnel trash……"

  "The music here is good……" Ben’s girl replied, now blushing.

  "Ugh, it’s sh*t. Let’s ditch these two and go somewhere better. My friend’s promoting and will bring us into VIP at Latrine!"

  Ben raised an eyebrow. ’Did she say she’s going to a club called Latrine?’


  Sensing things were moving downhill, Antonio whispered to Ben, "Bro, this new chick is about to wipe out our set with a c*ckblockalypse……"

  Ben narrowed his eyes. He wasn’t one to cause trouble for people, but if they insulted him first and for no reason, he wouldn’t take it lying down if he had a choice. "Don’t worry. I have an idea……I’m going to preempt her with a c*ckblocker blocker……"

  Ben put his hands in his pockets, looking for a particular item. When he found it, he put on a warm smile and walked around Karla while she scowled and gave him the stink-eye. Stopping near the girl he was chatting with before, Ben whispered a few words to her, then went back to Antonio.

  "What happened?" Antonio asked.

  Ben didn’t respond. His left hand in his pocket gripped the Bad Luck Perfume he unboxed earlier……

  Consumables disappear on use. The Perfume was still there, so Ben hadn’t used it. ’Of course I can’t use an item like this on her. I’m not sick in the head! She’s only a random obstacle, a girl in a bar……My parents taught me better.’


  "What did you do?" Antonio asked.

  "A diplomatic approach," Ben answered.

  "Oh. Was it something you said to your chick? What did you say?"

  Ben didn’t respond. He waited. Diplomacy takes time……

  "AAAAHH!" Karla screamed as her legs flew forward from under her and she fell hard on her back! She also knocked over a tray from a passing waitress with her flailing arms, which sent several drinks pouring all over her! She rolled on the sticky, filthy bar floor, trying to find which way was up! Some people even stepped on her by accident! There were shoe prints on her clothes!

  She looked at her heels and discovered the culprit. "Why is there a f*cking banana peel on the floor?!?

  Ben spread a villainous grin from ear to ear as he asked Antonio, "Did you like my diplomatic approach?"

  Of course Ben wouldn’t use the Bad Luck Perfume on her, but it wasn’t because he didn’t dare, but because the item was too expensive! Cost-effectiveness and ruthlessness; That’s how Ben did diplomacy! He learned from House of Cards!

  ’Like I said, I’m not that evil……to waste hard-earned points! That swamp-hog can eat a trash banana peel though! I can afford that sacrifice!’


  "Oh my god! My Versace dress! It’s ruined!"

  Right then, the DJ put on a new track.

  "When the pimp’s in the crib ma Drop it like it’s hot Drop it like it’s hot Drop it like it’s hot"

  Everyone nearby cackled at Karla! Even her two friends tried to hide their chuckles! The timing of the song was too perfect!

  While playing Snoop Dogg’s track and waving one hand in the air, the DJ used the other hand to keep scratching back the song back. It was like he wanted to repeat the most suitable line for Karla’s situation!

  "When the pigs try to get at you

  When the pigs try to get at you

  When the pigs try to get at you."

  Karla kept falling down over and over because her heel was stuck in the banana peel! By coincidence or not, the DJ timed the rhythm of the verse to each drop!

  Anyone who held back laughter before could no longer stand it! The entire club exploded like a lolcano!

  Only after a fierce struggle with gravity, did Karla manage to stand up. She looked around and saw everyone guffawing at her…… "Shut up!" she screamed as she ran to the bathroom with the banana peel still hanging from her heel. Snickering themselves, her friends followed her.

  Ben sneered as the noob rage quit……

  ’Super Mario Kart 2017 Champion b*tch! You f*cked with the wrong one!’ Ben didn’t fail to represent his title……

  It was unfortunate that the two hotties left with her, but Ben didn’t care, because he got something better!

  [Congratulations! You’ve unlocked the Achievement: Creativity Fuels the Future(fine) - Use a system item in an unorthodox way to defuse an obstacle]

  [Distributing reward: PUA Points + 500]

  [Distributing reward: PUA Points + 500 (Event bonus)]

  He exchanged a trash banana peel for 1000 points!

  ’Time for another Mystery Box!’


  Francis Underwood would be proud.