Chapter 432 - Someone She Didn’t Want to See No Matter What
writer:
夏染雪 update:2022-08-17 13:36
Translator: Atlas Studios Editor: Atlas Studios
Rainy bent down and picked up the leaves on the ground. She then carried them to the bottom of the tree and placed them down nicely.
“Baby, tell Mommy what you’re doing.” Xia Ruoxin bent down and picked up a leaf, too, putting it down with Rainy’s pile.
Rainy patted the stack of leaves she placed underneath the tree and lifted her head, smiling brightly.
“Mommy, the tree is leafies’ mommy. If they are away from their mommy, they would feel sad so Rainy is bringing them to their mommy.
Xia Ruoxin adjusted the hat on her daughter’s head and played along with her daughter. “Then, Mommy will bring the leafies home together with Rainy, okay?”
“Okay!” Rainy nodded vigorously. She carried the leaves to the base of the huge tree with Xia Ruoxin until she was tired. She rubbed her eyes as Xia Ruoxin carried her home.
“Mommy……” Rainy rubbed her eyes again.
“Hush, Mommy’s here,” Xia Ruoxin answered. Her right arm was still weak, but she was able to support Rainy’s weight with just one arm. Rainy had grown up on her right arm after all.
“Is Rainy going to leave Mommy?” She bit her tiny fist and sniffled.
Ruoxin stopped in her tracks, bumping foreheads lightly with Rainy. “Of course, Rainy will leave Mommy, but that’s gonna be in the distant future. You will find another person who would treat you really, really well. He would play with you, eat with you, walk with you, and laugh with you.”
“Just like Mommy?” Rainy still didn’t know what a life partner meant. She felt like this person should be her mother because only mothers would do these kinds of things.
“Yes, just like Mommy.” Xia Ruoxin told Rainy, but she didn’t know what kind of person Rainy would meet in the future. However, like she said, it would be a thing of the distant future—at least twenty years later. Rainy was still hers alone now.
She believed that her daughter would be able to find a good man next time. A man who would not harm her, bully her, or hurt her. No matter what, she would still have a mother who would do anything for her.
Rainy only needed one Mommy. Rainy wrecked her little brain. She didn’t want any other Mommy.
Xia Ruoxin laughed. Children’s world was so simple. Yet, she couldn’t remember what it was like when she was a child.
“Ruoxin,” someone called her from behind.
Xia Ruoxin stopped in her tracks again. She pressed her daughter’s face to her chest. She was always running into people she shouldn’t meet and facing the past she wasn’t willing to see.
Perhaps she should move away to another place—or another city. As long as they wouldn’t meet anymore like this.
“Ruoxin, is that you?” The voice approached, and so did the person.
“Ruoxin, you’re Ruoxin. It’s your mom.” Shen Yijun rushed forward instantly. She thought she had mistaken her for the wrong person, but no, this was indeed her daughter, her Ruoxin.
Xia Ruoxin turned around, meeting the longing and regret on Shen Yijun’s face with indifference.
Really, she didn’t need it anymore.
Stop pretending like you’re such a warm and caring mother now. It was ridiculous.
“Ruoxin……!” Shen Yijun shouted Xia Ruoxin’s name again. She wanted to reach out and touch the person in front of her. She wanted to check if she was dreaming or if she was hallucinating.
“Good day, Mrs. Xia.” Xia Ruoxin answered her succinctly. Not mother, not aunty, but Mrs. Xia.
“Ruoxin, do you still blame me?” Shen Yijun smiled devastatedly. “I know I’ve done you so much wrong all these years, but I was scared. Do you understand, Ruoxin, the difficulties of a woman raising a child by herself? Do you understand the feeling of not being able to fill your stomach every day? I couldn’t go back to those days anymore—I just couldn’t.” She then got everything she wanted. She got three meals a day; she got delicacies from around the world—jewels and gems. She got everything she never dared to dream of having, and so she became greedy. The greedier she became, the more she got, and the more afraid she became of losing them. The more fear she felt, the more she wanted to possess them.
This led to her actions in the past. Even she herself couldn’t believe it, and she didn’t want to believe it. Until Xia Yixuan’s death, she felt indebted to Xia Mingzheng because he had lost his daughter. She couldn’t face her own daughter. She wanted to redeem herself, and she wanted her daughter to make amends, too. No matter if her intentions were selfish or not; that was the only way she could get her salvation.
Xia Ruoxin hugged her daughter tighter towards her. Rainy stared unblinkingly at Shen Yijun. She looked exactly like how Xia Ruoxin was in the past.
Shen Yijun’s heart jolted. She couldn’t face the pair of mother and daughter in front of her.
Yes, it was tough and difficult, but just because she couldn’t endure it, it didn’t mean others couldn’t, too. She understood clearly that she wasn’t a good mother. To put it bluntly, she was selfish. There was no need to make any more excuses.
However, some people never gave up on their original intentions no matter the setbacks they’ve encountered. For instance, Xia Ruoxin. For instance, Shen Yijun, who gave up on her own daughter.
“What’s her name?” Shen Yijun asked Rainy, tears streaming down her cheeks. All of a sudden, she felt ashamed.
“Aunty, my name is Rainy,” Rainy replied obediently. She called Shen Yijun ‘Aunty’ instead of ‘Granny’ because she was young. If she had called her ‘Granny’, perhaps Shen Yijun would have felt better. Right now, she was extremely distressed.
“Ruoxin, can I hold her?” Shen Yijun’s trembling hands reached out. This was her granddaughter. She resembled her Xinxin when she was young so much. Her Xinxin was this young then, too, but somehow, she had forgotten that this was her daughter.
Rainy turned her face away, and she tugged at her mother’s shirt with tiny hands.
“No hugs, Mommy.”
“Okay, no hugs.” Xia Ruoxin assured her daughter. Maybe Rainy could feel that her Mommy wasn’t too fond of this person, and so she didn’t like her, too.
Shen Yijun’s hands stiffened and retracted. She knew, and she understood that there was nothing she could say to make up for all the things she did. Nothing could justify her wrongdoings. If these decades of mistakes could be wiped away with an apology and forgiveness, it wouldn’t be a decade of mistakes. How many more decades could a person have? How many more twenty years of youth could a person have?
“Xinxin, is there anything I can do to help?”