t

  I don’t have any acting experience, and I don’t want to accept this villain role. But, Director Cao was holding my leg and not letting me leave. That rascal-like appearance that won’t stop until he reaches his goals can only be compared to that of his son’s.

  “Don’t go yet, Xiao Ye Zi, you have to trust me! I’ve already analyzed the market carefully!“


  Director Cao singlehandedly switched the display window on the laptop, a forum webpage popped up.

  It seemed like a forum for fellow directors. One of the posts was titled “Americans are also coming to film Martial Art films”. The post was way too long and I had no time to read through it, though the picture attracted my attention.

  A picture of a beautiful Western doll under the illumination of the dazzling lights, standing on the round stage, holding a microphone, and singing while dancing.

  Isn’t this girl……the one who kicked me at the subway station, Ai Mi’er? She’s smiling so sweetly in this photo, such a benevolent gaze, why is she so different to that time when I met her? You aren’t actually Ai Mi’er, right? You’re the twin sister of that devilish brat I met, right? You’re smart, kind, lively and generous, did you take all the good disposition temperaments and that’s why you’re sister’s personality is so terrible?

  “Is this girl called Ai Mi’er?” I tried asking.

  “Eh? How did you know?”


  Director Cao was surprised for a moment, but then he immediately revealed an “I understand, we are of a kindred spirit” expression.

  Don’t understand me that easily! I’m not like you, I’m not a big loss that pays attention to all the loli’s in the world with impure intentions.

  “Xiao Ye Zi, let me tell you, this loli is a rising child star from the states! Her mom is her manager and she is amazing. The debut album for her daughter reached 11th place on the top billboards, there’s no limit to her future growth!”


  “Does she have a twin sister?”


  “No, according to my investigation, she’s the only child.”


  After seeing my expression, Director Cao had a higher reverence for me.

  “What a nice imagination Xiao Ye Zi! If this sweet and tasty loli had a twin sister…… Jie Jie Jie Jie”


  No, my thoughts aren’t like yours, I just don’t want to admit that someone with a personality as bad as her’s can record an album.

  “So regarding the Americans coming to film martial art movies, what does that have to do with her?”


  “Listen to me, because of the influence of ‘Kung-fu Panda’, it seems like there’s going to be another upsurge in the popularity of martial arts. That’s why a film team came to China to film, it seems like it’s going to be a kung fu series similar to Avatar: The Last Airbender. Its temporary name is “Legend of the Magic Cauldron” and the forecasted filming duration is 2 years. They’re going to film mainly the palace area near DongShan and some of the surrounding scenery”, he couldn’t stop blabbering after talking about insider information.

  “Although Ai Mi’er’s debut album did pretty well, she ran into some trouble in America. There were some lolicons and stalkers that harassed her non-stop every day, and there were even some people that tried to take photos while she was changing. Many times it reached the point where the police had to go and take care of the situation. Since her mom felt that if she stayed in America, she wouldn’t be able to progress her career normally, so she found her a TV series gig in China. This woman isn’t simple, and her strategy is correct. In order to become an international superstar, you have to expand in movies, TV shows, and the music industry.”


  When Director Cao was describing these events, it seemed like he had an envious tone. If he was living in America, he would definitely be one of those lolicons following Ai Mi’er.

  “Ai Mi’er is going to play a significant role in ‘Legend of the Magic Cauldron’, so she has to stay in China for 2 years. That’s enough to show how much her mom values Kung Fu films. Speaking of her mom, she’s an amazing woman. She successfully developed her husband’s financial company, then during the mortgage crisis she sold it and opened a talent management company and signed many young performers with lots of potential. Although it still hasn’t reached some of the bigger companies like UTA or CAA, the prospects still seem to be rising. I heard that she steeled herself and wanted to nurture her only daughter into an international superstar, you……understand?”


  “Understand what?”


  “Stupid! If her mom has that good foresight and allowed her daughter to come to China for 2 years just to film a kung fu film, she definitely sees a future in kungfu! Don’t you know that Americans are the best when it comes to making money?”


  That seems to make some sense.

  “That’s why come with me and help us film, starting from Jin Ling Young Thug……”


  “Ah! Class is going to start!” I raised my arm as if I was checking my watch, even though I wasn’t wearing a watch and while Director Cao was stunned for a moment I escaped from this stuffy and hot room.

  “Don’t run! I’m not done talking yet!” Director Cao’s voice passed through the wooden doors.

  As if I would cooperate with a big loss like yourself.

  That was some unexpected information I received regarding Ai Mi’er. I thought that I wouldn’t have anything to do with her anymore. Since she’s staying in China for 2 years, is that why she’s going to study at QingZi Academy? Honestly, QingZi Academy is even closer to my house than 28 Middle.

  I ate a pie on the way back to school. (TN: Not really a pie tho, more similar to a dumpling)

  A meat pie.

  Maybe a rotten meat pie.

  I had diarrhea in the afternoon.

  During the breaks in between classes, I came out of the male washroom with a painful face and immediately met class leader Shu Sha holding a pile of teaching aids.

  After Shu Sha saw that I was holding my zipper for my shirt, she glanced over and coldly asked, “What’s wrong? Did you catch skin?”


  Are you coming over to start something! Just because I was talking about rubbing this morning, you immediately say that I caught skin after taking a piss! You think you’re so great that you understand this stuff because you have a little brother? Anyways, the pants of the male sports uniform doesn’t even have a zipper. How the hell am I supposed to catch the skin below with my shirt’s zipper?

  Furthermore, you can just call number one loyal dog glasses bro to come and carry the teaching aids! Why are you doing it yourself! Though if you submissively say some gentle words (like “My hands are sore and somethings going to drop so please help me”), maybe I might even lend a hand!

  Yet you tightly hold on to being “Fair, Righteous, and Independent”, you damn Justice Devil can just tire yourself to death!

  While I was dispirited due to my diarrhea, Xiao Qin was still as lively as a butterfly and spun back and forth by me.

  “What the hell are you so happy about?”


  “I’m happy because Ye Lin classmate is going to eat lunch with me tomorrow!”


  Xiao Qin retracted her hand into her spacious sleeves and seemed even more like a butterfly.

  “Oh right, why’s the color for the male and female uniform different?” Xiao Qin asked.

  “Where is it different? Aren’t they both blue and white striped?”


  “Near the shoulder! Right here!” Xiao Qin pointed at her own arm, near where the armbands are usually worn.

  Other than the difference in expenditure between the two uniforms, that spot is indeed a different color. Males have a blue stripe similar to the base color of the uniform while females have an eye-catching red. This wasn’t for beauty purposes, but it was to help easily spot signs of dating. If the two genders wore uniforms with a color difference, it’s a lot easier to be found out. That’s how the head teacher found out about the couple and lead them to cut their wrists.

  I didn’t want to bother explaining to Xiao Qin and it also seemed like she lost interest in her question pretty quickly.

  After seeing me lying feebly on my desk she also copied me and laid down over her own desk, turned to face me and smiled.

  “Ye Lin classmate, I prefer the school uniform over yesterdays clothes!”


  “Eh?”


  “It’s because it feels like I’m wearing matching outfit for couples with Ye Lin classmate!”


  Are the matching outfit for couples all so ugly at you house? Besides, all 600 people of this school are wearing this outfit, are all 600 lovers! Headteacher, come quickly and catch all these lovers! It’s a large harvest! You can dive in and start randomly reaping in exp! You’ll level up after killing these 300 pair of lovers!

  After school, I threw Xiao Qin off my tail with great difficulty but found nobody at home when I returned.

  There was a note on the dining table: “I have something to do so take care of dinner by yourself. If you don’t have enough money, find it at the usual spot.

  PS: If you’re going to the grocery store, buy 2 onions.”


  My dad’s handwriting was firm and bold and made me feel ashamed.

  Dad, why did I have to inherit your short legs, why couldn’t I have inherited this nature-defying penmanship?

  You must have selected the wrong innate skills when I was born.

  Since he left an imperial decree, I reluctantly went to the grocery store. I guess I’ll take care of dinner and at the same time buy onions.

  There’s an Wal-mart two blocks away from my house. Compared to this American chain store, many of the neighboring natives prefer to go to the WuMei across the street. It might also be due to the fact that they often have raffles.

  I didn’t go to WuMei because if there’s too many uncles and aunties there at this time so it’s very crowded. I came down the escalator to Wal-mart’s underground floor and strolled over near the cooked food area. I wanted to see what food to offer up to the five viscera.

  “How about half a pig head?” joked a butcher that I often met.

  “Nah, when I have 10 people at home, I’ll buy an entire head.”


  All of a sudden, I sensed an unordinary subtle odor.

  Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw a delicate figure, one with a golden double ponytail that I’m all too familiar with.

  She was pushing a shopping cart larger than herself with great difficulty in the snack area.