Xiao Qin didn’t come to school the following day. It has already become a regular pattern for her to be absent every time she has her period.

  To be honest, every time it happens, I actually feel like something’s missing.

  Thus I spent the class managing the online store with my phone.

  Although I’ve never mentioned it before, out ‘Happy Valley Love Shop’ actually has a few regular female customers.

  Since both sides are anonymous on the web, there are no topics that are considered off-limits.

  We also had four customer service representatives, ‘Donkey Kong’, ‘Mario’, ‘Lilac’, and ‘Southland Red Berries’. The last two nicknames sound like female customer service representatives.

  Actually, these four people are all impersonated by me. It was in order to make our shop seem more professional. It’s actually pretty common on Taobao, so that’s why stop hesitating the next time you’re looking for a specific customer service representative.

  Some female customers would leave the following reviews:

  “Haha, I went on a blind date once with it hidden under my clothes. It felt so good during our meal that I almost couldn’t hold it in. He looked at me strangely, maybe he noticed?”


  Fuck, why are you even going on a date if you’re not serious about it! Just spend the rest of your life with the sex toys from our store. Or do you want to satisfy your weird fetishes by purposely attending a blind date!

  Some other female customers commented:

  “The seven modes are really amazing. I don’t even need a boyfriend anymore, but it uses too much electricity. Does your store sell rechargeable batteries too?”


  Go to an electronics store if you want rechargeable batteries! Even though I’m grateful for your patronage, please find a boyfriend. Even if it’s for the sake of conserving electricity for the country.

  Some other comments left by female customers were even more odd:

  “Where did your model get her hair done?”


  Shu Zhe is wearing a damn wig! They style of hair was already set when it left the factory, but again I need to reiterate, we’re a sex shop, not a barber shop.

  After managing the store for a short while, I received a text from Director Cao.

  It was a good thing I set my phone to vibrate, otherwise, I would have been caught.

  The text said:

  “My life force is about to dry up without Miss Ai Mi’er’s underwear, please hurry……”


  What does your life force have to do with loli underpants? I’ve heard my dad say that the ‘holy water’ that often appears in movies and games was made by soaking pages of the Holy Bible in regular water. Perhaps by soaking loli underpants in water, it would create Director Cao’s life water?

  I’m not sure if it was a misconception, but it seemed like the class leader intentionally kept her distance from me when Xiao Qin was absent. Did it have something to do with what Xiong YaoYue said to her yesterday?

  If that’s the case, then you’re severely mistaken. Xiong YaoYue was referring to my non-existent same-sex partner, not Xiao Qin. Besides, if Xiao Qin and I were in an actual relationship, you shouldn’t be avoiding me. You should take out the school rules for 100 ways the school prohibits relationships between boys and girls, then smash it on our heads to stop our relationship and focus on studying.

  Or perhaps is there some hidden reasons for why you don’t have the confidence to break us apart?

  Unlike usual, Xiao Qin came to class after only one day of rest.

  On Wednesday morning, Xiao Qin came to class feebly and returned the washed pair of pants to Xiong YaoYue.

  “Ah, so it was actually for you!” Xiong YaoYue seemed surprised.

  Seeing as Xiao Qin had no energy, I teased her a bit and said:

  “What’s ‘Love at Zhoukoudian’ about? Is it a bunch of cavemen beating up dinosaurs while dating?”


  Xiao Qin spoke as if she was on her last breath: “Yes…… it’s about cavewomen checking out which caveman looks the best, then knocking them out with a club and dragging them back to their caves…… “


  What kind of love story is that! Besides, I think knocking people out with a club is what archaic men did to archaic women. Why was it reversed in your story?

  It was not a wise decision for Xiao Qin to force herself to come to school. Even though Loud Mouth and Little Smart came to check up on her, and the class leader helped her make molasses water, it did nothing to help her pain.

  She pretty much spent every class sprawled on top of her desk. She would tense up from pain while looking at me with a bitter smile.

  “Ye Lin classmates acts as my pain medicine.” Xiao Qin said, “It wouldn’t hurt if I look at you some more.”


  “Although the medicine my mom gave me is pretty effective, I heard taking too much pain killers would lower your intelligence. That’s why I only took one, and then I’ll have to persevere with willpower……”


  “Take the medicine if it’s effective! You don’t have to worry about your intelligence since its already at the minimum level!”


  “Ye Lin classmate, Ye Lin classmate……” Xiao Qin called me name weakly.

  For a second there, I thought she was about to say her last words.

  “Can you let me suck your fingers for a bit?”


  “What?”


  “My pain isn’t really subsiding by only looking, but it might work better if I suck it, even if it’s a bit salty……”


  Then go suck on yourself if you don’t like the taste! Also, how could I let the girl next to me suck my fingers in a scared classroom where people come to learn?

  “What a selfish boyfriend……” Xiao Qin lamented, and began sucking on her right index finger.

  “Oh, misht tashte sertmms witer dan Ye Lin cwashhmate……” (My taste seems lighter than Ye Lin classmate)

  Don’t speak with your fingers in your mouth, I couldn’t even understand what you said. And it’s not like you’re a dish, why do you care if it’s sour, sweet, bitter, or salty?

  After forcing herself to get through lunch, it seems she couldn’t hold it in anymore. She asked the teacher for a leave of absence and to help her to the infirmary.

  I secretly ran to the infirmary before the first class after lunch began. I wanted to see how Xiao Qin was doing (and this way those noisy girls from our class wouldn’t be here).

  I never thought Chen YinRan would be absent too. Xiao Qin was lying on the bed by the window, I’m not sure if she took painkillers, but she was in a deep sleep.

  I walked next to her quietly and looked at her slightly red face in silence.

  Her bangs were a little messy, but it gave off a sense of asymmetric beauty. Between breaths, Xiao Qin’s face was like a work of art sculpted from white marble. Especially her slightly opened lips, she was like the dewdrops that accompanies sunrise, or the buds of a flower, spreading a young woman’s charm.

  I couldn’t find any traces of my old nemesis from her current appearance.

  How pathetic.

  My greatest enemy is right in front of me, but I can’t even take my revenge. What’s even worse is I had thoughts about secretly kissing her while she was asleep……

  As expected, her poison has already infiltrated my body. The Sparta in my heart has also become more taciturn. I tried to visualize the image of the Sparta in my mind. Eh, Sparta, what are you doing, why are you kneeling while facing the wall? Damn, you’re kneeling on a washing board, when did you fall to this level?

  While feeling sorrow for the fall of Sparta, I heard Xiao Qin chuckle.

  I thought she woke up, but she was only talking in her sleep.

  “You’re mine…… you can only look at me……”


  Oh, she’s actually speaking full sentences. Is she talking about me? Should I go buy some sunflower seeds (TN: popcorn) and enjoy the show?

  “Ye……”


  I thought she was about to say ‘Ye Lin classmate’, but she turned in her sleep and said:

  “Ye Lu……” (TN: Ye Lu is donkey, her nickname for Ye Lin when they were kids)

  So, you weren’t dreaming about the current me, but commemorating the good times when you bullied me! Is that why you have a happy smile on your face!

  “What should I do…… even if I called him donkey as a nickname, he still looks really good……”


  Is…… is she referring to my shota appearance? So you didn’t call me donkey because you thought I was ugly?

  “If he still looks really good when he gets older, a lot of girls will like him……”


  Then, Xiao Qin had a worried expression.

  “It’s enough if I’m the only one to like him……”


  “That’s why…… fairy godmother……”


  What the fuck are you dreaming about? Why would a ‘fairy godmother’ appear? Do you think you’re Cinderella?

  “Fairy godmother…… please use your magic to make Donkey ugly…… even though I’ve been hitting his face all the time, it doesn’t seem to be working……”


  Screw you! Cinderella made a wish to attend the prince’s dance, but you wished for your prince to turn ugly? I thought you hit my face to show your strength, but you wanted me to turn ugly? Was that why you also used super glue to close the wounds on my face?

  But regardless of your reasons, it seems your wish was fulfilled by the fairy godmother! Where is that old bastard, I’m gonna strangle her!

  And you, you black-hearted Cinderella. Actually you’re not Cinderella, but Cinderella’s step-sisters. Have I been treating you too well lately? Should I carry out my previous plans to thoroughly break her heart, so she would run away?