? Race: Royal Vampire

  ? Level: 999+

  ? Job: Tyrant (Violence → Domination ↑)

  ? Skills: Life Energy ZZ, Domination Z, Blood Drinking Z, Stealth SSS, Charm SSS…


  ? Status: Confused, Royal Seal, Relic

  The vampire who was having a good time with the most beautiful female in the Western Continent was equipped with weak and unimportant skills.

  He would have been considered incredibly strong back in my primary education days, but he was completely lagging behind in this era.

  Regardless, he still pretended to be the king of vampires.

  As the Righteous Hero, I couldn’t close my eyes to such insolence!

  The archmage had two ZZZ-rank skills, yet he still lived like a hermit. Meanwhile, that unremarkable vampire was pleasuring himself using such a gorgeous lady.

  It shouldn’t be like that.

  “Wait! I will come back later!”


  I could annihilate him right now, but then the rise of the “Phantom King Shakespeare” would forever become impossible.

  And that should never be allowed to happen.

  Just like the Snow Queen Elsh of the Northern Continent, the Western Continent representative of the Five Great Disasters should also remain in existence. That begged the question of what the best way to proceed from here was.

  But the answer to that was already a foregone conclusion from the very beginning.

  “I don’t know the answer, though, Drug Hero.”


  “Watch carefully, you foolish spirit.”


  I immediately returned to Archmage Shakespeare and, like a weakling, shouted.

  “Trouble! Please, help!”


  “W-what happened? Why did you suddenly kick the door of someone else’s house…”


  “This isn’t the time to talk about such nonsense! We need the power of a forty-year-old archmage right now!”


  “Force? I don’t like violence… Huh?!”


  “Enough talking!”


  I wanted him to decide on his own, but it pissed me off how long he thought.

  I grabbed him between the 6th and 7th cervical vertebrae and dragged him with me.

  “Kha! I think you’re much stronger than me…”


  “It’s just the adrenaline coursing through me because of the current situation.”


  “O-okay, I got it, so let me go! I can move on my own! Are you asking for my help because it’s hard for you to fight alone?”


  “Something like that.”


  Such was the logical prowess of a wise wizard. Thinking I’d find this situation impossible to deal with on my own was nonsensical, but from a standpoint within the bounds of common sense, his conclusion would’ve been the most plausible.

  We went straight to the cave where the vampires were hiding.

  “Hmm… There is a smell of blood in this cave, which indicates that vampires are living here. Are they the enemies we’ll have to face?”


  I didn’t need to explain anything.

  I felt sorry for myself for not having such a quick-witted companion in the first round.

  “Right. Go inside. The spirits will show the way.”


  The local spirits greeted us.

  “What about you?”


  “You don’t have to worry about me.”


  “I’m not since you’re stronger than me. I’m just curious why you’re not coming with me.”


  “I’ll be on guard here to stop any vampire reinforcements.”


  “What is the essence of all this?”


  “The vampires’ surrender and the release of the locals that the vampires are treating like cattle, harvesting blood from them.”


  “Hmm… I see,” Shakespeare sounded uncertain. Sighing, he entered the cave without further delay.

  “Shadow A.”


  I called out to my aunt. She usually stayed in my shadow except when watching over the armless Snow Woman.

  “I’m not an auntie. I’ve been alone for so many years…”


  “So you deny your marriage?”


  “N-no! How can I deny King Elfheim?! He is my bright sun, my oasis, my…”


  “You can stop now. Follow that guy. I haven’t seen any patient that’s strong in battle despite having an intervertebral hernia yet.

  Hernia appeared in people with a sedentary lifestyle.

  Hence, in combat, Shakespeare wouldn’t be as strong as his skills might suggest.

  “Hmm…”


  “What?”


  “I just wanted to say that you are still a hero.”


  “Stop wasting time and follow him.”


  “As you wish…”


  Thanks to the contract, everything Shadow A saw and heard was transmitted to me, allowing me to observe the situation.

  “Hmm? An invader?”


  “The blood of old people isn’t very pleasant…”


  “But doesn’t he reek of chastity?”


  “Oh! You’re right! I look forward to tasting him…”


  “Light!”


  “Aaaarghhh?!”


  “Ugghhhhhh?!”


  It didn’t matter if he wasn’t as experienced in actual combat.

  The wizard’s “Intelligence” compensated for that flaw.

  Like a veteran who could silence even seasoned mercenaries, Shakespeare confidently moved through the cave.

  After he rescued the residents of nearby towns and villages from imprisonment, he summoned a small golem to accompany the people to the exit from the cave.

  The vampires were dominant in numbers, but they couldn’t do anything against the light magic he used in such a confined space. Even if they approached him, they still couldn’t touch him because of his protective barrier.

  That was the power of a being that had two ZZZ-rank skills.

  The power of a forty-year-old innocent archmage.

  “Step forward if you still desire to fight!”


  The vampires, realizing that they couldn’t overcome the difference in their skills, surrendered one by one.

  Because of that, he quickly reached his destination.

  Even though Shakespeare deviated from the path that the local spirits showed him since he needed to save the abducted people throughout the cave, he still didn’t take long.

  “I am the inventor, Shakespeare.”


  He found the Vampire King, who, upon hearing the noise, went out to face him, making sure to wear his underwear and pants beforehand.

  The fusion of those two would create the Phantom King Shakespeare.

  But now, they met as enemies.

  “How dare you run amok in my territory, you old virgin! Don’t think I’ll let you die peacefully.”


  “Don’t underestimate innocence! Brilliance!”


  “BUT?!”


  With a loud cry, the Vampire King fell on his face.

  I expected a fierce battle to unfold here, but no such thing happened due to their huge difference in skills.

  The archmage’s enemy couldn’t even retaliate.

  No, he couldn’t even move.

  He looked so silly!

  Since ancient times, tales were already filled with women falling in love with the men who saved them.

  “Ah! How strong you are!”


  The pupils of the Western Continent’s top beauty turned into hearts.

  She was still naked and with her arms and legs tied. Her back was slightly arched, too, creating quite the stunning image.

  “Hmm! I’ll free you now. I might regret it if your husband tries to take revenge on me, though…”


  “Oh! I am but an unmarried and innocent girl.”


  She lied yet didn’t blush! Everyone, including me, the spirits, and the system itself, knew that she had an adult daughter.

  However…


  “I-I see. I’m sorry. Ahem-ahem.”


  He ignored her lies. Where did his boundless wisdom and intelligence go?

  “My incredible savior, if you really want to apologize, then untie these ropes with your own hands, not magic.”


  “My hands? Oh… Uh… Okay.”


  “Be gentle with me.”


  “D-don’t move. If you toss and turn around like that, I might accidentally touch your skin and… Ahem! In any case, don’t move.”


  The moment the wizard grasped the beautiful vampiress, she clung to him like a leech.

  She threw her slender arms around Shakespeare’s neck, pressed her breasts against him, and looked at him seductively.

  “Thank you for freeing me from that scoundrel, my savior.”


  In the Fantasy World, women wanted a strong husband who could protect them.

  However, even if they had gotten married and had children, it still wouldn’t be the end.

  No. Someone taking someone else’s wife and killing her children from a previous marriage was a common occurrence in this wild world.

  Hence, the more men looked at a beautiful woman, the stronger the husband she desired.

  After all, safety was more important than impulsive feelings.

  Not everyone was so categorical, though.

  Everyone had different tastes. There were many princesses or daughters of aristocrats here that had run away from home and married savages who had nothing to their name.

  But as soon as their dreams of complete freedom were shattered, poor life and eternal quarrels awaited them.

  “I get it, so get away from me a little…”


  “Do you not like me? Is it because I’m a vampire? Or because you find me ugly?”


  “None of those are true! But…”


  “But?”


  “This is just so sudden.”


  “This is the first time I’ve ever felt this way. As soon as I saw you, my heart started beating faster, and my fangs immediately became thirsty.”


  The Western Continent’s pinnacle of beauty, as an experienced hunter, didn’t want to let go of the forty-year-old virgin archmage.

  She wasn’t his rival. If they started fighting, it would be over in 0.001 seconds.

  But her best weapon wasn’t her physical strength.

  It was her beautiful pelvis!

  ?Interest: Do you like girls with beautiful bones?

  ‘Good question, Trainee Teacher!’


  I thought that my preference stemmed from my mother’s words, who often said that I shouldn’t look at a woman’s appearance but her inner beauty.

  And I had long admired her wisdom.

  Unless they were elves or women who didn’t take care of themselves, all girls with beautiful bones were beautiful.

  ? Confusion: Inner beauty… Hmm. I see…


  The vampiress was in the crosshairs of the likes of the Vampire King, so she needed a man who could protect her.

  That was when the archmage appeared right in front of her!

  She began to push aggressively to prevent him from running away.

  If Shakespeare could preserve his virginity in such a situation, then he was, by all means, worthy of a position beyond archmage.

  That aside…


  “It seems everything is in order.”


  Just like his past versions, he managed to get himself a beautiful wife. He was still yet to gain his reputation as the Phantom King, but as the saying went, whoever one fell in love with, that was who they’d get it from.

  And if he lived with this beauty, then there was a chance of her accidentally piercing him with her fangs during a passionate night, turning him into a vampire.

  It didn’t matter that the probability of such an outcome was only 0.01%.

  After all, the opportunity would present itself every night.

  Then everything would be as it was supposed to be except for his title, the “Phantom King.”


  “You’re simply incredible, Drug Hero.” The First Spirit said in admiration, still sitting on my head.

  “What are you talking about?”


  Anyone with 64 years of experience should be able to do this with ease.

  “You gave her up so easily. The First Hero would’ve most likely saved that vampire himself and married her. After all, she is the most beautiful lady in this part of the world.”


  Even if she were hailed as the most beautiful being in the entire universe, I wouldn’t have cared.

  I didn’t look at the outer appearance of women, but their inner beauty!

  (Sir Hero, whose interests lie in the bones of women, you have saved the Western Continent before disaster struck! I, myself, don’t understand what I’m talking about right now, so don’t ask me…)

  ‘And I thought you were gone for good! I’m not happy to meet you at all, dear Goddess. Can I go to the Southern Continent?’


  (Yes. There is an ongoing war between giants and elves on the Southern Continent right now. A decisive battle between the heads of these two races will soon commence, and the giant who’d win this battle will be crowned the Fire King Phoenix. The defeated elves will then be driven to the verge of extinction. At that moment, an elf will come from the Central Continent to unite his kind scattered in different parts of the continent and start building a nation.)

  I thought I knew who that elf was.

  The pathetic king of the elves.

  “Incredible Sir Hero! Let’s go soon!” Blushing, Shadow A rushed me.

  I immediately asked her a question.

  “Didn’t you say you’re not interested in just one photo and that the Elfheim here isn’t your real husband?”


  “You still remember the words I said to look stronger… Hmph! It doesn’t matter! 3D is still better than 2D! Here, Sir Hero. A feather!”


  “Kyaah! Please be more gentle!”


  Shadow A waved in the feather she had just ripped from the Snow Woman’s wing in front of my face.

  Shaking my head, I was forced to accept it.

  “Well… Let’s go. There’s something I’m curious about anyway.”


  When did the pathetic Elf King begin to hate his race and praise humans?