Chapter 813 - I Cant Continue to Pretend Anymore (3)
When he only raised a slender brow at her, Li Meili g.r.o.a.n.e.d. She shouldn't have gotten drunk last night. She should have confronted him with a clearer mind than in her drunken state. No wonder he didn't believe her words, but it was hard for her to come to terms with her feelings for her husband.
"Then what else is there? It's not like you will forget about Beixuan so soon," Zhang Jiren dared to say. "Meili, do you realize what you are saying right now?"
'Please don't give me false hope. I don't want you to hate me, but I also know my limits.' His eyes told her what he couldn't convey through words.
"You are not replacing him, Jiren." Li Meili kissed his palm gently, her eyes seeking his. "While it's true that Beixuan's death has brought us together, I am grateful that I met you and have you by my side."
"I don't want you to regret, Meili. You've suffered enough."
He didn't want her to cry and grieve over the loss of another loved one, especially if it was him. He had seen how broken she was when Tang Beixuan died and didn't want her to experience the same grief all over again. Furthermore, he couldn't bear to make her feel distress.
Zhang Jiren thought that divorcing her was his best choice. He would release her from the chains of their marriage, allowing her to be free to do what she wanted to do. As for him, as long as he could stay in a place where Li Meili couldn't see him and was allowed to watch her and Leyan, then that would be enough for him.
Since he had thought it through for a long time and accepted that he could never be with Li Meili, then no matter how painful it was, as long as it was for her sake, he would proceed with the divorce without hesitation.
"The same could be said to you and yet you are pushing me and Leyan away from you. Jiren, I assure you, what I feel for you isn't simple because of our marriage arrangement and out of gratitude." There was a hint of disp.l.e.a.s.u.r.e in Li Meili's voice.
"And what do you feel?" Zhang Jiren asked quietly, his eyes searching hers for the answers.
"You tell me."
The silence that followed was deafening. Only the light snoring coming from Zhang Leyan could be heard between them. The two stared at each other, waiting for the other to make the first move.
Slowly, Zhang Jiren leaned forward, giving Li Meili enough time to change her mind and turn her head to dismiss him, but she didn't. She leaned forward, meeting him halfway, her lips touching his in a gentle kiss.
His eyes watched as her long lashes fluttered shut as she responded to his kiss, both careful not to wake the sleeping child in her arms. His lips molding to hers while his right hand reached up to cup her cheek.
The kiss only made Li Meili want to cry more, but she didn't. She was afraid that she might ruin this special moment she had with him. This man, who was always there to support her, loved her, cared for her— how could she not be moved?
So many men could say 'I love you' without batting an eyelid, but very few were able to prove it through their actions. But this man… her husband loved her in silence, showed his love through his actions.
People used to say regret was stronger than gratitude, and Li Meili certainly didn't want to add another thing to regret in her life by parting with Zhang Jiren. If his time was really running out, then that's more reason for her not to leave him.
When the two parted, Zhang Jiren was surprised to see her cheeks dusted with a slight blush. Words weren't needed to express how much they meant to each other now.
"Our contract… it's coming to its end," she reminded him.
Zhang Jiren nodded, chastising himself inwardly at how his resolve easily crumbled when it came to Li Meili. Since she brought up the contract and said that she didn't want to divorce him, how could he not feel skeptical?
"So… do you want to draw up a new one or…"
One would not know how to cherish something until they've lost it. This saying couldn't be more accurate in Li Meili's opinion. Because she was oblivious to his love and her own feelings, she almost lost her chance to be with him.
"I see no reason to make one," Li Meili said with a warm smile. "What I said last night is true. I also know what I'm doing, Jiren. I want to be with you. In this life, only I could be your wife— to have and hold, from this day forward, for better and for worse, for richer and poorer, in sickness and in health. To love and to cherish, from this day forward as long as we both shall live…" She paused and twined their fingers together. "Jiren, do you hear this vow?"
In reality, they really didn't get to say their wedding vows as they only simply registered their marriage and didn't have a ceremony. Still, Zhang Jiren knew what she meant when he looked at their hands. It was hard to believe that this woman he came to love was willing to give him a chance to love her in the right way. If this was a dream, he never wanted to wake up.
"This time, I would be a better wife— a true wife if you would allow me. Don't hide secrets from me anymore. Since we are together, rely on me, Jiren."
Zhang Jiren chuckled and gently stroked her head before kissing her temple. He wasn't sure if this brain was playing a trick on him, allowing him to delude himself that Li Meili loved him back.
"If you are sure…" A bit of unease crept into his heart. He knew that he was a bit muddle-headed when it came to her, and he was unable to say a single word of rejection to her requests.
"I am sure," Li Meili said with emphasis, her eyes were bright, letting him see how strong her resolve was to stay married to him.