With a smile on his face, Caitel puts the cookies in my mouth as he promised. I don’t know why, but I felt sad eating it. I can’t believe I gave up my identity and self-esteem just because I wanted to eat this. It’s all screwed. I’m done! I don’t see hope.

  “You’re a good at smiling.”


  I’m sorry. I know I smile often.

  I wanted to be a goofy baby, but I guess I’m too nice to be like that. The next minute, Caitel gives me a little star-shaped cookie. Naturally, I opened my mouth, and at that moment, he took the cookie away. Huh?

  “Do you want it?”


  …Oh, my god!

  Why can’t you act like other normal fathers, you! When I look at him with a really serious crumpled face, he felt awkward and gives me that cookie. Because the cookie is little too big, I took a bite and grabbed the cookies with my hand, and I stared at him. Are you my father or my enemy?

  “You’re so ugly.”


  What’s he saying about my brilliant looks? You’re ugly, too. I’m not the only one who’s ugly. First of all, I’m your daughter. I don’t even feel it’s unfair now because I hear that too often now. Well, he surely said that I look like a bug, and look like a dog before. Oh you bastard.

  “How can you be this ugly?”


  I said you are ugly too. I breathed a low sigh. And taught the truth of life to the ignorant Caitel.

  “It’s because I took after you.”


  Caitel’s face is slightly stiff in my reply. In the back, Ferdel was already laughing so hard.

  “You’re unsightly.”


  “I said I got it from you.”


  “You are ugly.”


  “Maybe because I look like you?”


  I’m ugly because I look like you. Isn’t that so? I nod my head as if it were an immutable truth made Caitel’s face seriously crumpled. When I saw it, I giggled inside. Tel, you’re still a long way to catch me. Haha.

  “You were like a bug when you were little.”


  “Yes, because I resemble you.”


  “You also look like a dog, too.”


  “That’s also because of you.”


  I’ve heard that I look like a cat, too, but that’s silent. So what? What’s going to happen if you glare at me like that? Are you gonna hit me? Can you really hit someone as cute and lovable as me? Right, of course. He’d do much worse than that…I’ll just stay quiet and smile. People say you can’t hate a smiling face.

  “…now that I look again, you’re quite pretty.”


  “Yes, I know how pretty I am.”


  Kitell’s face crumpled without mercy. I giggled inside. Do you think I’d say I got that from you again? I’m not that simple.