‘I knew she cherished that woman, but it’s not very pleasant to confirm that right in front of my very eyes. Still, my anger had all disappeared now…… I wonder if this is a good thing. Hearing her cry finally brought me to my senses.’


  “What are you talking about? You’re the one who made Serira my nanny.”


  ‘A few seconds ago, I resented her so much I almost wanted to kill her…… yet all my anger melted away with her tears. If I raised a hand, she would wither like grass. However, I can’t act on that instinct even if I’m furious. I wanted to crush her for being so impudent…… but now that I have the chance, my hands didn’t move like they aren’t mine.’


  ‘I can’t find any strength in my fingers. It’s unpleasant that my body is not listening to me. My body won’t listen to my will—as if I’m taken over.’


  ‘Before I felt any discomfort, her eyes consoled me somehow. Just like how the spring sun melted away the winter snow, the sun shines over them. It soothes my endless rage.’


  “From now on, don’t turn away from me like that so easily.”


  ‘It was an experience I never wanted to go through again.’


  ‘Yes, I never knew how painful it is to see my own daughter criticize me and run away from me. Just stay with me because I can’t take my eyes off of you.’


  ‘I’ll feel the urge to crush her and stomp her for one second. But at the next moment, I want to hug her, listen to her, and soothe her caringly. What do I call this feeling?’


  ‘I want to protect her, and I want to destroy her……’


  There was a red scar on her pale skin, where she scratched herself while running away. The blood was crawling out of her knees as if she had fallen down. It made me feel strange. She’s so weak. If I grab her tightly, will she break?’


  “I curse you. You made me like this. If you kill my child, I will never forgive you.”


  ‘It reminds me of this child’s mother.’


  “If this child dies, you’ll lose everything you’ve ever had, but if this child survives……”


  That woman spoke of a curse. But it wasn’t much of a sacrilege.

  “Then, you will regret it in another way.”


  ‘I’m already regretting it right now.’ Holding his only daughter in his arms quietly, Caitel prayed, ‘Please don’t break.’

  ‘.…… I hope I don’t end up breaking you.’